Have you seen the prices for houses in Israel? Astronomical, mate. You wouldn’t believe it. An arid and perpetually embattled country which everyone has recently decided to hate, and with a bloody great big wall topped with razor wire running through the middle of it — I’d have expected the cost of a nice four-bed would be comparable to what you’d pay in Rwanda, say, or Myanmar. Not a chance. Down south, in Eilat, it’s millions and millions and millions of quid, just to be oven-basted by the extremist sun and then eaten by a shark. It’s not much better in the nicer parts of Tel Aviv, either, such as Jaffa — more than a million pounds for 150 square metres of living space, without a view of the torpid Med.
I suppose you could get a decent-sized home in Sderot comparatively cheaply — a mile from the border with Gaza and described (although probably not in the estate agent’s brochure) as the ‘bomb shelter capital of the world’. Every day or so, a rocket pings across from the supposed nation of Palestine, bang, you’re dead. That would keep you on your toes, no? Except not many Sderotis are killed this way, because Israel is incomparably more competent than Hamas and shoots the rockets down, the rockets sent by a terrorist administration which has made a living out of pretending to be a victim and somehow convincing the PC world of this delusion.
There are the newer settlements on the West Bank, out towards the River Jordan — they might be good value, couple of olive trees in the back yard, lights of Amman twinkling in the distance. But do you want to be woken in the middle of the night by some maniacal jihadi with the IQ of a bowl of stewed okra tunnelling into your open-plan kitchen-diner, a pound of Semtex taped to his stomach, yelling the Allahu Akbar business? Probably no worse than living in Tower Hamlets or Bradford, mind.
I checked all these house prices because once in a while I get sick to the back teeth of this country and think I should remove the family to somewhere more congenial. Slo-venia, for example. I’ve often thought of Slovenia. And sometimes Slovakia — up, up, in the foothills of the Tatra Mountains with its wolves and bears. And more recently Israel — nice climate, don’t you think? But also Israel because of what has been happening lately and our — the West’s — response to it all. Sadly, I am not Jewish, so I’d have to lie on the immigration forms. But I’ve pretended to be Jewish once before — as a student, when I rather took to an Orthodox Jewish girl called Sarah. She didn’t twig I was goyim for ages. Things progressed so quickly that I came close to having the snip — the things we boys do, or did, in order to facilitate sexual intercourse. But I digress.
The good news is that the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, has told the Jews of western Europe that they should emigrate to his country, and therefore I think it’s possible that I could sneak in under cover. I think it’s fair to say that I would out-Israeli most of the new immigrants. Western European Jews are flooding to Israel because of homicidal Muslim attacks — in France, Denmark, Sweden and here in the UK too. Jews targeted because of their race. Racist murders, racist assaults. A French Jewish journalist, Zvika Klein, was filmed walking through the Islamic State suburbs of Paris and being spat at, threatened, abused at every pace.
Netanyahu has been attacked, natch, by the European liberal left for his offer of sanctuary — and that’s because these attacks upon Jews are possible only with the connivance of the liberal left politicians and media. The politicians who hate Israel and have bought whole the canard that the Palestinians are blameless victims, and who do not wish to accept what we all know is true — that modern Islam harbours a murderous attitude toward Jews; it wishes them to be wiped out and exterminated. It is not just a few extremists. If you think that, you are kidding yourself. Netanyahu knows that too many of us have been kidding ourselves. For too long. The animus and hatred is deep-rooted, and given succour by the gentile left, which prefers, for the sake of its own vacuous ideology of multiculturalism, to keep its eyes shut.
The bien-pensant attacks on Netanyahu were epitomised by the idiotic Piers Morgan, writing in the Daily Mail. I suppose one should not be surprised about what emanates from a man with a face which so closely resembles a puckered anus. Remember 9/11, Morgan wrote: many Jews were killed on that day. But that didn’t herald a mass emigration to Israel. We all stood together, united against extremist violence!
Oh, you sap, you halfwit. How can you not see that what is happening now is of a different order entirely? The number of anti-Semitic attacks rising exponentially. Drongo jihadis opening fire on synagogues and Jewish shops — not on Israeli embassies, not on Netanyahu, but on ordinary Jews. Can you imagine the response from the politicians if these sorts of attacks had been committed by white Christians against Muslims? Or indeed by Christians against Jews? And yet when it happens to be Muslims murdering Jews there is no great furore about this fact; instead it is swept to one side: simply a case of ‘extremists’ versus ‘ordinary people’. No, that is not what it is. But given their investment in multiculturalism, the politicians will not accept this obvious point. If our Jewish community gets the hell out to Sderot or Jaffa, it will be this wilful and cowardly blindness which has propelled them there.