A couple of Sundays ago, in London, Zia Mahmood and Demetri Marchessini held the first ever ‘Goulash Individual’ tournament. ‘Goulash’ deals involve wild distributions of suits — and the day was bizarre and fun in equal measure. Several superstars flew in to play, including 86-year-old Benito Garozzo, 13 times world champion, and 28-year-old Marion Michielsen, arguably today’s best female player. Everyone partnered everyone for two boards; on this deal, my great pal Neil Mendoza got to play with Zia — but not altogether successfully:
 
North’s spectacular opening was passed round to Zia (West), who made a ‘Lightner’ double, asking for a ruff. Had Neil (East) been sure that’s what the double meant, obviously he would have led a club. But that pesky ♦A looked so enticing, and, being a singleton, so safe …It was the only lead to let it through. Declarer ruffed, cashed ♥A and ♣A, ruffed a club and discarded a club on the ♦K. ‘Neil,’ said Zia afterwards, ‘what do you think my bid meant? I may be the best player in the world, but even I am not so good that I can both divine that you hold an ace, and then double to remind you to lead it!’
 
I could offer Neil some consolation: he was in good company. At my table, North opened 6♥. Garozzo (East) overcalled 7♣. North rebid 7♥, and West, Giles Hargreaves, doubled. And Garozzo led …the ♦A! At the end, Giles found himself in the unusual position of having to tell the great Garozzo that his lead was perhaps, erm, second-best. A shell-shocked Garozzo could only grumble: ‘I hate goulashes.’