Modern manners
Dear Mary: Should I give my postman a Christmas present?
Q. I am extremely fond of an artist friend, despite the fact that I have never liked her work or…
Save me from the cult of instant intimacy
On the cult of instant intimacy
First names are for friends and family, not bosses and builders
The death of the surname
The terror of choosing the wrong email sign off
The etiquette of ending an email
The politics of email sign-offs
I think Anne Applebaum is a friend of mine. I certainly hope so, since I have always admired her writing,…
Dear Mary: What should I do about a Lib Dem friend who can no longer take a joke?
Q. I sent a WhatsApp message to a Lib Dem friend of 15 years. ‘How are you finding being a…
Dear Mary: how can I stop my dad treating my mum like a slave?
Q. Dad takes an old-fashioned approach to marriage: I have never seen him clear his plate and he does not…
How did my children become more middle class than me?
In a café in Norfolk last week, my seven-year-old son uttered words that mortified me. No, he didn’t comment loudly…
Dear Mary: How can my son tell if his cleaner is stealing from him?
Q. What is your view on emailed vs handwritten thank-yous? During my recent travels around pre-Brexit Europe I stayed in…
Can a church blessing tame my unruly dog?
The picture on the front of the Animal Blessing Service programme featured a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a goldfish,…
Dear Mary: did our friends regift us out-of-date chocolates?
Q. A university friend and I want to get an invitation to a very good shoot owned by a colleague…
Dear Mary: what should we do about a possible thief in our school dormitory?
Q. I run a very small mail-order company from home. Recently I received an exceptionally rude email from a disgruntled…
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Dear Mary: how can I hide that I’m no longer drinking?
Q. I have given up drink except on certain occasions when it would be really rude to refuse. What’s the…
Dear Mary: How do I get an answer from my elusive publisher?
Q. What is the current etiquette regarding chasing an opinion from a publisher to whom, by agreement and via a…
Problems solved for Michael Fabricant, Liz Truss, Piers Morgan, Richard Madeley, Anthony Horowitz and others
From Michael Fabricant MPQ. When I go for intimate meals at a restaurant with a friend, I am invariably asked…
Dear Mary: my Botox treatments make me look standoffish. How can I appear warm?
Q. A friend and I are giving a combined Christmas drinks party for 120 people. It’s being held at her…
Dear Mary: How can I stop chatty friends from phoning when I’m meant to be working?
Q. May I pass on a tip to anyone facing large family house parties at Christmas? I always used to…
Why I’ve changed my name
As someone who has recently discovered he is black, I have watched with incredulity the treatment doled out by the…
Dear Mary: What can I do about loud train snorers?
Q. At every drinks party one will be in mid-conversation with another guest and someone will walk over and loiter…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my wife from sabotaging my anecdotes?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 50 years. The marriage is basically sound but she has recently…
Are you a politically correct pervert?
It hasn’t always been easy being a progressive-minded man who prides himself on his sensitivity to issues of race, gender,…
Dear Mary: My friend’s cooked breakfasts make me gag
Q. My fiancé and I spend many great weekends with another couple. I am a vegetarian and quite particular about…
My long gossipy letters to an old friend get just a few words in response
Q. An old friend shares aesthetic sensibilities and tastes in people. Hence we have sustained a highly enjoyable correspondence over…
Dear Mary: what do you say to neighbours who find you in your nightdress?
Q. I recently gave a jolly dinner for eight friends (some old, some rather famous), all home cooking, ending with…
Dear Mary: I had £300 stolen while at a friend’s house. Should I tell them?
Q. Following a small dinner last night in a private house, I got home to find £300 missing from my…
