Etiquette
Dear Mary: Is it acceptable to go to bed before my guests do?
Q. I am a self-employed travel specialist, concentrating on holidays in Asia. Friends (and even friends of friends) plague me…
Dear Mary: Should weddings be ‘no ring no bring’?
Q. An old friend who is extremely generous and loyal has the most infuriating habit. Despite being efficient in other…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of unfollowing someone on Instagram?
Q. When hosting a dinner party, should one circulate the biographies/Wikipedia entries of your guests beforehand so that everyone arrives…
Dear Mary: How do I stop Ozempic ruining my dinner parties?
Q. I enjoy giving dinner parties and put a lot of effort into the preparations. However, recently I have noticed…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband eavesdropping on my phone calls?
Q. I’m quite a good friend of a member of our royal family – going back to our shared school…
Dear Mary: How can I check if my host received my thank-you letter?
Q. Annoyingly, one of the Sunday newspapers ran an article about the ‘least used but most scenic footpaths’ in the…
Stop scoffing food on trains!
I’m on the 10.45 slow train to Ipswich. It’s not even lunchtime, yet everyone around me is already gorging on…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband falling asleep at the theatre?
Q. At the age of 50 my brother-in-law has discovered a talent for acting and singing. He has joined a…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my friend that hot food needs hot plates?
Q. A divorced male friend, renting in Notting Hill, has had no historic experience of cooking but has discovered Lidgate…
Dear Mary: How do I get my friend’s wife to keep her distance?
Q. Every year my husband takes two weeks’ prime salmon fishing on a Scottish river. It’s a really nice holiday…
Dear Mary: How do I get my cleaner to quit?
Q. How can we get our new unsatisfactory house cleaner to resign? There is a huge demand for cleaners in…
Dear Mary: Should I admit to being a Donald Trump supporter?
Q. This may sound ridiculous but I have an issue with the Big Issue seller near me. I am in…
Dear Mary: How do I ensure that splitting the bill is fair?
Q. A Belgian couple (a baron and baroness, no less) are regular visitors to the Highlands and I have come…
Letters | 11 January 2025
Growing problem Sir: The first leading article of the year (‘Growing apart’, 4 January) points to the gap in economic…
Dear Mary: Can I regift an unwanted tin of sweets?
Q. A kind villager gave us a jolly circular tin of sweets for Christmas. We are both overweight and would…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid my friend’s gropey partner?
Q. I have a dear friend who is in a newish relationship. The partner – whom I hardly know –…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my neighbour sending WhatsApp messages IN CAPITALS?
Q. My husband has a stressful job and needs to quietly decompress at the end of the week. This is…
Dear Mary: How can I avoid a lunge on a date?
Q. I have been working in London as a receptionist in a private members’ club and consequently have had the…
Dear Mary: How can we get our messy little boys excused from formal lunches?
Q. To my surprise I have been asked to give a eulogy at the funeral of someone I knew only…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my boss sending me rambling voice notes?
Q. I am a concierge for a high-net-worth individual. She likes to communicate with me mainly via WhatsApp voice messages…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my friend’s banal WhatsApp messages?
Q. I have a very dear friend who lives in Scotland, so we rarely see each other. Before the internet…
Dear Mary: how can I stop guests waking too early?
Q. I meet a very old and dear friend for lunch on a regular basis. We meet at a lovely…
