Etiquette
Dear Mary: How can I persuade a friend to stop allowing her dog to lick her plate?
Q. My grandson has just failed his driving test for the fifth time and yet I know, from his chauffeuring…
Dear Mary: How do we get more men to our singles’ events?
Q. Last year I decided to share a flat with an old, but not very close, friend from school. It…
Dear Mary: How do I get guests to help with the washing up?
Q. My daughter is temporarily living abroad and we communicate daily on WhatsApp. She’s always desperate for any local news/gossip…
Dear Mary: How do you swerve a dinner party bore?
Dear Mary: How do you swerve a dinner party bore?
Dear Mary: How do I get my friend to clean up after her dog?
Q. Every so often we’re invited to our friends’ house for lunch or dinner. It’s close by and the house…
I walked out of my son’s nativity play
To walk out of a public performance before the end – be it the theatre, a concert or a lecture…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our generous host putting us in the worst room?
Q. Around this time of year a successful friend likes to rent an expensive ski chalet with cook and fill…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid getting shown up by a more chivalrous bachelor?
Q. My godfather, who has managed to get me a valuable internship in the Far East, has also sent me…
Dear Mary: Can I remain friends with someone who has a frozen face?
Q. A close friend of my own age, 52, has had various things done to her face and now looks…
Dear Mary: How can I catch a ‘re-gifter’ out?
Q. I live in a small house in Hampstead and have taken in a friend of a friend as a…
Dear Mary: Can I retract a party invitation without causing offence?
Q. A very likeable woman has joined the company I work for and also just moved to my village. I…
The rise of the on-the-day party drop-out
A new drinks-party-shirking method has taken hold in British society. I call it ‘Lastminute.non’. Previously, the way of not going…
Dear Mary: Do we turn up at a party even though no written invitation arrived?
Q. An extremely old friend is a successful purveyor of high-end goods. Last time we saw him he invited us…
Dear Mary: How do we tie down an invitation to our friends’ holiday home?
Q. Some friends of ours have an amazing house on the coast in Kenya. Every time we see them they…
Dear Mary: How can I turn down invitations without offending people?
Q. I was recently lent six books by a friend I see regularly for yoga. I was bemoaning the fact…
The lost art of the insult
Imagine I were to begin this column by remarking that a woman preaching is like a dog walking on its…
Dear Mary: Should I leave a tip for my hard-up friend’s imaginary daily?
Q. My son’s new girlfriend is really sweet but my husband and I find it annoying how she puts her…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid offending old friends if I don’t recognise them at a party?
Q. I am shortly to attend a big London party at which I will see many old acquaintances. However, first…
Dear Mary: do my AirPods make me look like an imbecile?
Q. My printer is broken, so I asked my neighbour to print off a letter for me. It was from…
Dear Mary: How do I find out if my handsome bathroom salesman is single?
Q. A decade ago I commissioned a handmade velvet opera coat from a fabulous local designer. She was then struggling…
Dear Mary: Help! My neighbour knows I lied about her daughter’s wedding photos
Q. I have been booked to give my first talk on my field of professional interest. I happen to have…
Dear Mary: Do I have to read the romantic novel my neighbour has based on me?
Q. A woman in our village has written a romantic novel in which one of the leading characters is said…
Dear Mary: How can I find out who else is coming to a house party?
Q. I have accepted an invitation to a five-day house party in Scotland. I know it is a breach of…
Dear Mary: How do I get a Lycra-wearing cyclist to dress for drinks?
Q. A good friend often cycles over when I invite him for drinks. The trouble is he insists on turning…
Dear Mary: How do we avoid having dinner with our new cruise friends every night?
Q. My twins’ birthday is coming up, but we will be in the country. Their godparents are usually punctilious, but…
