Diary
Dolly Parton’s marriage advice for me
I will miss Dolly Parton; one who truly deserves the title of ‘icon’. I met her a few times but…
Now I’ve left Today, I can finally say what I really think…
Hello, what’s this I see before me? A blank page; and a pen unencumbered by the heavy weight of BBC…
To understand England, go to the pub
Odysseus had to withstand the wrath of Poseidon, avoid the call of the Sirens and vanquish the terrifying Cyclops to…
How my ancestor dealt with anti-Semitism
I’m not a member of the Establishment, even though I’m writing this in what might be described as its literary…
The sanctimonious campaign against Boy George
In the musical Allegra, which has just finished its run, I ran around singing, dancing and jumping on tables for…
Why are the young obsessed with drinking water?
Greetings from Edinburgh, where the air is full of love and seagulls. Mostly seagulls. They soar, they sweep, they swoop…
Should I really have my parliamentary pass revoked over a short skirt?
Labour MPs first tried to ban me from the Commons press gallery two decades ago, after I ridiculed Speaker ‘Gorbals…
What Istanbul gave me
Why do novelists set their stories in cities or landscapes which seem to haunt them? Not the places of their…
In defence of career politicians
A couple of years ago we rented a villa in Ithaca. ‘Who wants to go see Odysseus’s palace?’ I said…
My run-in with Hugh Grant
Hugh Grant, self-confessed grump and Fourth Estate muzzler, was at a drinks party I went to the other day in…
London’s slump won’t last
I left the Sunday Times a year ago to create a CEO reputation advisory firm. Sir Philip Green, the former…
The secret to writing a good musical
Jesus Christ Superstar is returning to the West End at the Palladium, the theatre owned by its composer. It probably…
Bring back lunchtime drinking
The usual blindfolds, handcuffs and gags were slapped on live news and discussion programmes last Thursday, including me and my…
Does Britain have Bregret? Don’t believe it
In the build-up to the tenth anniversary of the EU referendum, we’ve heard lots of claims about Bregret. There are…
Pity us poor Celtic fans
Although the past few footballing weeks have been dominated by the convulsive conclusion to Arsenal’s season – and the upcoming…
I refuse to be cancelled
I have been opening a play. It is called Allegra and is about a woman who is relentlessly happy. This…
No one likes Arsenal, we don’t care
Arsenal’s triumph in finally winning the Premier League again after 22 long, often eyeball-wrenchingly tortuous years has gone down like…
My first act as prime minister
If I were prime minister for a day (which is looking like an increasingly realistic prospect for all of us),…
The truth about Kate Garraway and me
Since Victorian times, sandwich-board men proclaiming doom have been part of our urban street life, particularly in London. I’ve felt…
Queen Camilla’s unusual phone app
And so to the White House for a ringside seat at the Trump circus. Another assassination attempt on the President…
The secret to Rupert Murdoch’s strength
Going to the theatre is a joy. When you are a character on the stage, less so. Over the past…
Why is a chatbot deciding what books our children read?
A school in Greater Manchester has stripped 193 books from its library because they are ‘inappropriate’, liable to upset pupils…
Why Donald Trump won’t embarrass the royals
Elizabeth II was never particularly enthusiastic about birthdays. They were a good excuse for a parade or an honours list,…
Is sex really better in the countryside?
I can’t resist a courtroom drama. Prince Harry vs the press, for example: journalists I admire on one side, aggrieved…
My advice for the new Archbishop of Canterbury
To mark the celebration of the Annunciation (‘Lady Day’, 25 March), a friend sends me an image of her favourite…
