Diary
Bring back lunchtime drinking
The usual blindfolds, handcuffs and gags were slapped on live news and discussion programmes last Thursday, including me and my…
Does Britain have Bregret? Don’t believe it
In the build-up to the tenth anniversary of the EU referendum, we’ve heard lots of claims about Bregret. There are…
Pity us poor Celtic fans
Although the past few footballing weeks have been dominated by the convulsive conclusion to Arsenal’s season – and the upcoming…
I refuse to be cancelled
I have been opening a play. It is called Allegra and is about a woman who is relentlessly happy. This…
No one likes Arsenal, we don’t care
Arsenal’s triumph in finally winning the Premier League again after 22 long, often eyeball-wrenchingly tortuous years has gone down like…
My first act as prime minister
If I were prime minister for a day (which is looking like an increasingly realistic prospect for all of us),…
The truth about Kate Garraway and me
Since Victorian times, sandwich-board men proclaiming doom have been part of our urban street life, particularly in London. I’ve felt…
Queen Camilla’s unusual phone app
And so to the White House for a ringside seat at the Trump circus. Another assassination attempt on the President…
The secret to Rupert Murdoch’s strength
Going to the theatre is a joy. When you are a character on the stage, less so. Over the past…
Why is a chatbot deciding what books our children read?
A school in Greater Manchester has stripped 193 books from its library because they are ‘inappropriate’, liable to upset pupils…
Why Donald Trump won’t embarrass the royals
Elizabeth II was never particularly enthusiastic about birthdays. They were a good excuse for a parade or an honours list,…
Is sex really better in the countryside?
I can’t resist a courtroom drama. Prince Harry vs the press, for example: journalists I admire on one side, aggrieved…
My advice for the new Archbishop of Canterbury
To mark the celebration of the Annunciation (‘Lady Day’, 25 March), a friend sends me an image of her favourite…
I stand by my comments about Islamic public prayer
Following my appointment as shadow justice secretary, I was moved to a bigger office in parliament. Where once I enjoyed…
Is my book about Meghan and Harry a ‘deranged conspiracy’?
‘Deranged conspiracy’. That’s the Sussexes’ verdict of Betrayal, my second blast at Harry and Meghan, after the serialisation was in…
The insidious rise of Tannoy spam
Six people meet for a picnic on Richmond Green. They eat Popeyes chicken nuggets, Sainsbury’s sausage rolls, M&S sandwiches, Cadbury…
Did I ever really stand a chance in the by-election?
Four weeks after I decided to upend my life by standing as the Reform UK candidate at the Gorton and…
Could Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor become ‘Lord Andrew’?
Never one for introspection, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has still managed to provoke some searching questions about the institution he once served.…
The best and worst of French civilisation
We always try to spend Valentine’s Day weekend in Paris. My wife has held on to a tiny apartment in…
Peter Mandelson’s secret crush
Back in the mists, early 1980s I suppose, I was asked to decorate a penthouse apartment in London for a…
What Trump told me in my hour of need
‘The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom,’ espoused German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. Having spent the past fortnight…
The real reason I’m leaving Bake Off
I have been dithering for years about when to stop judging The Great British Bake Off. When I joined nine…
The real reason Farage wants Kemi gone
The invitation came from Ewan Venters, a Scot who currently steers the Paul Smith brand, and the venue was Angela…
Get me out of New York
I reached New York for the premiere of the fourth series of Industry in a mild state of delirium. I…
Another year without an Oscar
With the close of 2025 I crowned a tumultuous year in which I got married, moved house and saw Evelyn,…
