Low life

Jeremy Clarke: Escaping from Colditz with Professor Brian Cox

13 January 2018 9:00 am

By New Year’s Day I’d had enough of festivities. Instead of getting out of bed, I turned over, put my…

Jeremy Clarke: How I lost an afternoon to two magnums of mid-range champagne

6 January 2018 9:00 am

As I stood there, I was reminded of the man of no fixed abode who, several years back, aged 68,…

Jeremy Clark: Was this a cruise ship — or Colditz?

16 December 2017 9:00 am

We ascended the gangplank and were smartly directed to the ship’s library, where the seated purser swiped my debit card…

How a human body burns

9 December 2017 9:00 am

I took a dab of antiseptic gel and rubbed my hands together. ‘Alone tonight, sir?’ said the charming head waiter.…

The pure joy of a boring car

2 December 2017 9:00 am

My pal Charlie inherited a car and a ride-on mower from an old pal. He kept the mower and the…

Treble doubles, shattered glass and a copper on the doorstep

25 November 2017 9:00 am

The door to Trev’s flat was open so I walked in and found him on the sofa watching TV. He…

Was there pleasure at Passchendaele?

18 November 2017 9:00 am

At ten to eleven we filed outside the church and assembled in the graveyard around a small cenotaph commemorating the…

A lament for the best pub in Devon

11 November 2017 9:00 am

We had a hyperbole competition, the taxi driver and I, over the climbing full moon, clearer and brighter than either…

The perils of the boar-hunting season

4 November 2017 9:00 am

The French countryside around here is teeming with wild boar. They visit the shack at night to eat the pansies…

Low life

28 October 2017 9:00 am

Last May we had dinner with a comic who reads a lot and his wife. At one point, he told…

Low life

21 October 2017 9:00 am

On Saturday night, I toddled up to the village hall for the fish-and-chip supper, quiz night and raffle — bring…

Low life

14 October 2017 9:00 am

Early on Friday morning I flew from the north of Iceland to Reykjavik, from Reykjavik to Heathrow, then I hopped…

Low life

7 October 2017 9:00 am

The temperature gauge needle heeled hard over into the red. ‘Not again,’ I said to Oscar, sitting beside me on…

Low life

30 September 2017 9:00 am

As is traditional in this village, the Chapel congregation had walked the 100 yards up the hill to unite with…

Low life

23 September 2017 9:00 am

I got off the plane at Changi still pleasantly sedated by Xanax, passed through the ‘nothing to declare’ channel, and…

Low life

16 September 2017 9:00 am

The army patrols at Nice airport go around three abreast, steely-eyed, fingers on the trigger. They walk slowly and scrutinise…

Low life

9 September 2017 9:00 am

‘Have you ever thought of having some colour put in, love?’ said Julian as he shaved my neck with a…

Low life

2 September 2017 9:00 am

I arrived for lunch a bit late and was led to the dining table. Our hostess disappeared back into the…

Low life

26 August 2017 9:00 am

My mother has various chronic illnesses and finds it almost impossible to remain both immobile and awake during the day.…

Low life

19 August 2017 9:00 am

On Sunday morning we went, Oscar and I, to a vide grenier in the ancient, picturesque Provençal village. Vide grenier…

Low life

12 August 2017 9:00 am

My grandson and I are reprising the 1968 film The Swimmer. Burt Lancaster is an advertising executive at a pool…

Low life

5 August 2017 9:00 am

Five and the Red One are a German covers band. It’s probably the most uninspiring name for a rock band…

Low life

29 July 2017 9:00 am

‘We are always waiting for somebody,’ observed a vexed British journalist. Usually it was me they were waiting for, but…

Low life

22 July 2017 9:00 am

Valencia was a furnace. During the short ride from the airport, the taxi driver supplemented his chat about the weather…

Low life

15 July 2017 9:00 am

The hen party was seated at an outside restaurant table under the plane trees when I arrived. They sat with…