Low life

Low life

23 September 2017 9:00 am

I got off the plane at Changi still pleasantly sedated by Xanax, passed through the ‘nothing to declare’ channel, and…

Low life

16 September 2017 9:00 am

The army patrols at Nice airport go around three abreast, steely-eyed, fingers on the trigger. They walk slowly and scrutinise…

Low life

9 September 2017 9:00 am

‘Have you ever thought of having some colour put in, love?’ said Julian as he shaved my neck with a…

Low life

2 September 2017 9:00 am

I arrived for lunch a bit late and was led to the dining table. Our hostess disappeared back into the…

Low life

26 August 2017 9:00 am

My mother has various chronic illnesses and finds it almost impossible to remain both immobile and awake during the day.…

Low life

19 August 2017 9:00 am

On Sunday morning we went, Oscar and I, to a vide grenier in the ancient, picturesque Provençal village. Vide grenier…

Low life

12 August 2017 9:00 am

My grandson and I are reprising the 1968 film The Swimmer. Burt Lancaster is an advertising executive at a pool…

Low life

5 August 2017 9:00 am

Five and the Red One are a German covers band. It’s probably the most uninspiring name for a rock band…

Low life

29 July 2017 9:00 am

‘We are always waiting for somebody,’ observed a vexed British journalist. Usually it was me they were waiting for, but…

Low life

22 July 2017 9:00 am

Valencia was a furnace. During the short ride from the airport, the taxi driver supplemented his chat about the weather…

Low life

15 July 2017 9:00 am

The hen party was seated at an outside restaurant table under the plane trees when I arrived. They sat with…

Low life

8 July 2017 9:00 am

Up on the fifth floor the wind was like thunder. Wild gusts shook the window glass so violently I thought…

Low life

1 July 2017 9:00 am

I got up, made a pot of coffee and sat and read the paper. A churchgoing charity worker had stolen…

Low life

24 June 2017 9:00 am

‘Yours?’ I said to the woman watching the mechanic poring over the latest-shape Renault Mégane for faults. (I was waiting…

Low life

17 June 2017 9:00 am

French supermarket cashiers won’t be hurried. Nor will their customers, many of whom seem caught out by a bill at…

Low life

10 June 2017 9:00 am

‘Get ready for the stink,’ said Oscar as we walked up the concrete ramp to the entrance of the ape…

Low life

3 June 2017 9:00 am

My latest bed partner is a seven-year-old lad. That first night we slept together in my double bed, I hardly…

Low life

27 May 2017 9:00 am

‘Jeremy, I want you to sit here next to me — unless you’re frightened of me?’ We were briefly introduced…

Low life

20 May 2017 9:00 am

Chez Frank is a popular local boar-hunters’ bar, tobacconist and general store at a lonely crossroads in the forest. It…

Low life

13 May 2017 9:00 am

I was sitting between mother and daughter on the sofa, and we were having a ‘wee night’ as Glaswegians put…

Low life

6 May 2017 9:00 am

‘Emmanuel Macron est le plus grand con du monde,’ said the elderly gent taking the vacant seat on my right…

Low life

29 April 2017 9:00 am

I went to a barbecue. Everyone was patient and well disposed towards the silent, depressed, two-toed sloth in their midst.…

Low life

22 April 2017 9:00 am

When I was depressed 20 years ago, the (then) new antidepressant drug Prozac sorted it easily. It took six weeks…

Low life

14 April 2017 11:00 pm

I ran for the airport terminal shuttle bus; the doors shut behind me as I skipped on. I sank into…

Low life

8 April 2017 9:00 am

My brother and I were taking a short cut through an alleyway and saw a copper coming towards us through…