Competition

Poems about schadenfreude

11 July 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3156 you were invited to supply a piece of verse or prose on the subject of schadenfreude,…

Poems about picnics

4 July 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3155 you were invited to supply a poem entitled ‘The Picnic’. This challenge was prompted by a…

‘Merrie sing Rishi!’: variations on ‘Sumer is icumen in’

27 June 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3154 you were invited to supply your own variations on the medieval round ‘Sumer is icumen in’.…

‘Your guts will form a stinky pool’: Roald Dahl explains Covid-19 to children

20 June 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3153 you were invited to recruit a well-known children’s writer to explain Covid-19 to their young audience.…

The pleasure and pain of staycations

13 June 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3152 you were invited to supply a poem about the joys — or otherwise — of the…

Famous writers get to grips with DIY

6 June 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3151 you were invited to imagine famous authors reflecting on their struggles with DIY. Highlights in a…

Herculean sonnets

30 May 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3150 you were invited to submit a sonnet describing one of the labours of Hercules. This challenge…

‘Around the House in 80 Days’ and other titles for lockdown

23 May 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3149 you were invited to tweak an existing book or poem title for lockdown and provide an…

Authors making sneaky appearances in their own novels

16 May 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3148 you were asked to imagine what the result might have been had a well-known writer slipped…

How famous writers do social isolation

9 May 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3147 you were invited to submit tips on social isolation in the style of a well-known writer.…

Spectator competition winners: poems about the goats of Llandudno

2 May 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3146 you were invited to submit a poem about the goats of Llandudno, who recently ran amok…

Competition winners: Clerihews on Spectator contributors

25 April 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3145, to mark the 10,000th issue of The Spectator, you were invited to submit clerihews (two couplets,…

Spectator competition winners: Pangrams in six lines

18 April 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3144 you were invited to submit a poem, six lines at most, containing all the letters of…

Spectator competition winners: Love in the Time of Covid-19

11 April 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3143, a nod to García Márquez’s 1985 novel, you were invited to submit a short story entitled…

TripAdvisor reviews — with added spice

4 April 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3142 you were invited to supply a review on TripAdvisor that has been spiced up with a…

Songs to wash your hands by

28 March 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3141, you were invited to submit a song we cansing instead of ‘Happy Birthday’ during hand-washing. Congratulations…

The secret lives of poets

21 March 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3140 you were invited to submit a poem in the style of a famous poet in which…

Spectator competition winners: Grave thoughts

14 March 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3139 you were invited to submit a four-line verse epitaph for a well-known person, living or dead.…

Spectator competition winners: lines on a young lady’s Instagram

7 March 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3138 you were invited to submit a poem entitled ‘Lines on a Young Lady’s Instagram’. Thanks to…

By George

29 February 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3137, to mark the 70th anniversary of George Orwell’s death, you were invited to submit a short…

3136: Love me don't

21 February 2020 10:00 pm

In Competition No. 3136 you were invited to submit a lonely hearts ad guaranteed to send those looking for love…

Just the job

15 February 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3135 you were invited to submit an application letter for a job at No. 10 from a fictional…

Cat call

7 February 2020 10:00 pm

In Competition No. 3134 you were invited to submit a poem featuring one of T.S. Eliot’s practical cats getting to…

Competition: Food glorious food

1 February 2020 9:00 am

In Competition No. 3133 you were invited to provide a passage about food written in the style of a well-known…

Bizarre books

24 January 2020 10:00 pm

In Competition No. 3132 you were invited to submit an extract from one of the following books: Noah Gets Naked:…