Columns
It’s not us, China – it’s you
Like nearly everything named a ‘scandal’, ‘affair’ or given the post-fix ‘gate’, almost nobody now remembers the Dalai Lama affair.…
The politics of bookshelves
I pulled a Canadian girl in a nightclub, back when I was in my very early twenties. She seemed very…
Lullabies and lockdown
I laughed when my Spanish midwife mentioned in passing that in Latin American countries they have a custom for new…
The coronavirus catalyst
‘The normal grease of politics is not there,’ bemoans one sociable cabinet minister. Certainly, the whispered conversations in corridors that…
This crisis will be decided by politics, not science
One of the strangest developments to have occurred during this very strange time is that the Prime Minister’s special adviser,…
With an order of cloth the plague arrived
Locked contentedly into the rhythms of farming life and digging for lead on its Derbyshire Peak District slopes, the village…
If this is a war, let’s fight it like one
Under the cloud of conformity that has settled over the land as a replacement for air pollution, heretics who doubt…
Lockdown productivity? Let it go
On the day our A-level exams began some wit wrote on the blackboard: ‘I wasted time, and now doth time…
Real problems erase fake ones
Last week, a friend quoted a two-year-old email of mine: ‘I’m starting to root for a plague or world war…
An outbreak of bad manners
It all started on the day after the Brexit referendum. People who do not get the result they voted for…
An infectious uncertainty
I had thought that actually getting the coronavirus would bring clarity — that there would be some satisfaction in meeting…
I love my strange, disagreeable tribe
It’s one way to keep in touch with people. Each morning, somewhere between the first coffee of the day and…
The difficult balance of public vs political agony
Fear is the politician’s friend. When terror grips the public, an opportunity arises for those in power to step forward…
Would Churchill have worn a face mask?
The problem with face masks is cutting an opening of the right size to accommodate a cigarette, without the hole…
The communitarian Conservatives
Politics is full of events that are meant to change everything but actually do little. Yet the coronavirus crisis will…
We’re all guilty of recruiting this virus to our cause
There must be a quote from Shakespeare for this, but so far I haven’t found it. It’s the way we…
The big success of small shops
From time to time, usually when things are quiet, the government brings on the dancing girls. David Cameron made Carol…
I have herd immunity
I am a type. I don’t like groups. I maintain few memberships. I question and resist authority, especially enforcement of…
There’s nothing equal about this virus
Filthy germ-laden townsfolk were out and about on the footpaths near my home on Easter Sunday, dragging with them their…
This war is the same as any other
‘We don’t talk about the war.’ Yet those of my generation and older reference it daily. The coronavirus is an…
My only home-schooling success
‘What is the point of learning maths? When do you ever actually need it? How does it ever affect your…
Our flawed species still stands a chance
There was always one key flaw in our species. Which is that someone always shags a monkey. I have expressed…
Leave my cigarettes out of this
The owners of my local grocery shop, a mile or so from my house, very kindly sell me cigarettes in…
There is no end in sight yet
We have never had a moment like this before in our history: a time when the Prime Minister is, in…
Labour’s surprise advantage
First impressions matter in politics. Once the public have made their mind up about a politician, they rarely change it.…
