Cartoon

‘That was a suspiciously impressive performance.’

Press

12 March 2016 9:00 am

‘No prizes for guessing this guy’s problem.’

Clinic

12 March 2016 9:00 am

Bank

12 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Botox!’

Botox

12 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Your mating call cannot be taken at the moment. Please try again later.’

Call

12 March 2016 9:00 am

Foreign

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘When you said it was time you settled down, we didn’t mean in our house.’

Sofa

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Let’s be honest, this is a sink estate.’

Flats

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘It’s very realistic – it even gives you skin cancer!’

Pharmacy

5 March 2016 9:00 am

Lift

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘You’ll never guess what I heard the oligarchs next door say…’

Garden fence

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘The chaps were wondering if, instead of a tunnel, we could just dig straight down creating space for a pool and home cinema.’

Tunnel

5 March 2016 9:00 am

Babies

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Is that pounds or euros?’

Pounds

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Speciality of the hospital — weekend death by chocolate.’

Nurse

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Thank heavens, it’s just a drunken stag. I thought the Tory party were on board.’

Plane

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Do you think a 10ft high wall will keep Donald Trump out?’

Mexicans

5 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Can you make yourself scarce tonight? I might be bringing back a lady friend.’

Scarce

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘She’s annoyed because I don’t tweet.’

Tweet

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Grr! The internet hasn’t even noticed that I’ve taken a break from it!’

Sofa

27 February 2016 9:00 am

Roman

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘They don’t feed them, but still they come.’

Pigeons

27 February 2016 9:00 am

Camper

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘…and here’s a shot of the dolphins refusing to swim with him.’

Photos

27 February 2016 9:00 am

‘Until we dug down for the pool and gym we had no idea how close we were to the Central Line.’

Pool

27 February 2016 9:00 am