Cartoon

‘I do wish you wouldn’t look at the outside world — you know it only upsets you.’

Outside

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘And verily I say to you, go forth and multitask.’

Multitask

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s Zok here from the “human abduction team”. Do we have disabled access facilities?’

Aliens

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Anti-smoking propaganda has really hardened.’

Smoking

29 March 2014 9:00 am

Cable

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I make it 8.36.’

Unicorns

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Mum, Dad — I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, name withheld for legal reasons’

Boyfriend

29 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I want you to tick all the boxes’

Tick

29 March 2014 9:00 am

Referendum

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Your starter, sir.’

Starter

22 March 2014 9:00 am

War

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s outrageous the way the British cabinet’s been invaded by Old Etonians.’

Etonians

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I’ll pay you 0 per cent extra to dress up as a nurse.’

Bondage

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I thought I’d get up early. Got a lot of worrying to get through.’

Worry

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Ignore Barry. He’s a born attention-seeker.’

Attention

22 March 2014 9:00 am

Bonus

22 March 2014 9:00 am

Farage

22 March 2014 9:00 am

Ukraine

22 March 2014 9:00 am

Litter

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘I can’t give you any money until it’s been approved by our members.’

Holdup

22 March 2014 9:00 am

Women

22 March 2014 9:00 am

Damn

22 March 2014 9:00 am

Takeaway

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Have you tried throwing it out and getting a new one?’

Helpline

22 March 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s been brought to my attention that you’ve been breaking your vow of silence.’

Silence

22 March 2014 9:00 am