When kissing in public carried a death sentence
I once threw Tony Parker’s Lighthouse across the fo’c’sle of a ship at sea when I read that his characters…
Holy mackerel! Civilisation begins with fishing
Fish. Slippery, mysterious creatures. They are mysterious because of where they live, in vast waters, and because they elude the…
The dreadful (and unnatural) toll of freediving
In principle, freediving is simple and perilous: divers take one breath, then dive as deep as they can, with no…
A portrait of a gay boxer
I don’t like boxing. If I ever get into a boxing ring, I’ll be in the corner with the governor…
The toughest, smartest, strangest creatures ever to evolve are nearing the end of their continental shelf life
The oceans cover seven-tenths of our planet, and although it may not seem like it above the surface, they are…
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‘Oh no! We’ve woken up too early and haven’t missed Brexit!’
‘At least Chris Grayling isn’t in charge of the ferry.’
‘Before you say it, no — you can’t hand in a marriage licence.’
‘Brexit? I’m stockpiling for a new statue of Thatcher.’
‘Least said, texted, tweeted, retweeted, Instagrammed, posted, uploaded, shared, blogged, vlogged and Snapchatted, soonest mended.’
‘I got a tattoo.’
‘Haven’t we been punished enough?’
‘A bit late for that — they’ve
already appointed Nick Clegg.’
‘On a clear day you can see five
county lines drugs rackets.’