Mark Wood

‘You misgendered a grandchild? We’ve all been there.’

Mark Wood 16 May 2026 9:00 am

Beware deliveries by drone

Mark Wood 16 May 2026 9:00 am

‘… and how did your parents voting Reform make you feel?’

Mark Wood 9 May 2026 9:00 am

Cash? Really?

Mark Wood 9 May 2026 9:00 am

‘Apparently when you start school you can’t take your phone.’

Mark Wood 2 May 2026 9:00 am

‘I’m getting hints of blood, five miles away.’

Mark Wood 25 April 2026 9:00 am

‘He said he wanted to “Padel”.’

Mark Wood 25 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Tell us more about this universal credit.’

Mark Wood 18 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Why can’t they just accept we don’t want kids?’

Mark Wood 18 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Didn’t you even bring him back a souvenir?’

Mark Wood 18 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Don’t talk to me about the price of oil.’

Mark Wood 21 March 2026 9:00 am

No, it’s your turn to bring us breakfast in bed

Mark Wood 14 March 2026 9:00 am

‘You could go home, order it online and pick it up tomorrow. It’s cheaper with click and collect.’

Mark Wood 7 March 2026 9:00 am

I’m going to try to go back to sleep

Mark Wood 7 March 2026 9:00 am

‘I thought you were keeping up with the plot. Now one of us will have to Google it.’

Mark Wood 28 February 2026 9:00 am

‘How long do you think Keir Starmer can keep hanging by a thread?’

Mark Wood 21 February 2026 9:00 am

Did you order cheese?

Mark Wood 21 February 2026 9:00 am

I have a book in me

Mark Wood 31 January 2026 9:00 am

Is it just me, or do you feel like Greenland?

Mark Wood 31 January 2026 9:00 am

‘CDs? You’re so old-fashioned, Dad.’

Mark Wood 10 January 2026 9:00 am

That’s it, play the victim again

Mark Wood 10 January 2026 9:00 am

Rate delivery

Mark Wood 3 January 2026 9:00 am

‘I’ve had to get rid of the naughty and nice lists, it was affecting mental health.’

Mark Wood 13 December 2025 9:00 am

‘Oh, I don’t go to every house any more.’

Mark Wood 13 December 2025 9:00 am

Bang goes our quiet Christmas

Mark Wood 13 December 2025 9:00 am

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