Mark Wood

‘Could I kindly ask you to leave – you’re affecting my mental health.’

Mark Wood 15 August 2026 9:00 am

I don’t see why plagiarism is such a big deal

Mark Wood 15 August 2026 9:00 am

‘Do you sell “water” water?’

Mark Wood 8 August 2026 9:00 am

‘I’m visiting my grandchildren – they don’t get out much.’

Mark Wood 1 August 2026 9:00 am

‘I haven’t got a car. Can you water my lawn?’

Mark Wood 1 August 2026 9:00 am

‘We think you should know before it gets serious that our lives are too busy for grandchildren.’

Mark Wood 25 July 2026 9:00 am

Village fête

Mark Wood 18 July 2026 9:00 am

‘There’s nothing to fear but fear itself, and Ed Miliband as chancellor.’

Mark Wood 4 July 2026 9:00 am

‘To afford one we’ll have to keep working.’

Mark Wood 27 June 2026 9:00 am

This is nice for a change. It’s not often we eat out these days.

Mark Wood 20 June 2026 9:00 am

‘As one door closes, another opens.’

Mark Wood 6 June 2026 9:00 am

Tap to tip

Mark Wood 30 May 2026 9:00 am

‘It’s such a precious time. Their triggers are so simple at that age.’

Mark Wood 30 May 2026 9:00 am

The AI review of the book I used AI to write is fantastic

Mark Wood 30 May 2026 9:00 am

‘I just heard back from that job – after multiple interviews, I fell at the fourth fence.’

Mark Wood 23 May 2026 9:00 am

‘Mine’s self-driving.’

Mark Wood 23 May 2026 9:00 am

‘You misgendered a grandchild? We’ve all been there.’

Mark Wood 16 May 2026 9:00 am

Beware deliveries by drone

Mark Wood 16 May 2026 9:00 am

‘… and how did your parents voting Reform make you feel?’

Mark Wood 9 May 2026 9:00 am

Cash? Really?

Mark Wood 9 May 2026 9:00 am

‘Apparently when you start school you can’t take your phone.’

Mark Wood 2 May 2026 9:00 am

‘I’m getting hints of blood, five miles away.’

Mark Wood 25 April 2026 9:00 am

‘He said he wanted to “Padel”.’

Mark Wood 25 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Tell us more about this universal credit.’

Mark Wood 18 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Why can’t they just accept we don’t want kids?’

Mark Wood 18 April 2026 9:00 am

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