Bernie

‘Dad’s a lot easier to buy for now that he’s a woman.’

Fathers day

Bernie 14 June 2018 1:00 pm

Trains

Bernie 7 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘Apparently, few people have read it all the way through.’

Good Friday agreement

Bernie 31 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘This is not just a P45 — it’s a Marks & Spencer P45.’

P45

Bernie 31 May 2018 1:00 pm

Speaker

Bernie 24 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘Deciding on a border was a nightmare.’

Flower show

Bernie 24 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘Look mum — Kim Kardashian!’

Kim

Bernie 17 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘In future, try not to leave your porridge unattended.’

The three bears

Bernie 10 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘Rather warm for May.’

May

Bernie 3 May 2018 1:00 pm

‘We understand that nanny and baby are doing fine.’

Doing fine

Bernie 26 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Son, your mother and I would like a word…’

Wenger

Bernie 26 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘A man has a right to defend himself in his own home, Verity.’

Defence

Bernie 19 April 2018 1:00 pm

Flat earth

Bernie 12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘If you rough up one side, you get a terrific reverse swing.’

Stoning

Bernie 5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Wow! I’m going to get myself a knife, bro.’

Dangerous

Bernie 5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Waiter, could you ask the couple on the next table if they could speak up?’

Dining

Bernie 28 March 2018 2:00 pm

‘I’ll take those three.’

Eggs

Bernie 22 March 2018 3:00 pm

Pet

Bernie 22 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘Not THE Peter Rabbit?!’

Peter Rabbit

Bernie 15 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘He had a pretty good run.’

Roger

Bernie 8 March 2018 3:00 pm

Snowman App

Bernie 1 March 2018 3:00 pm

‘Today’s reading is the parable of the fully vetted Samaritan.’

Samaritan

Bernie 22 February 2018 3:00 pm

‘There goes the neighbourhood.’

Sex shop

Bernie 15 February 2018 3:00 pm

‘I want a Brexit-style divorce — with him as the UK.’

Divorce

Bernie 8 February 2018 3:00 pm

‘He left instructions but we can’t seem to follow them.’

Flatpacked

Bernie 1 February 2018 3:00 pm

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