Bernie

Cauldron

Bernie 25 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘What I thought might be fun is, we sign a final deal which then immediately shreds itself.’

Brexit talks

Bernie 11 October 2018 2:00 pm

‘It’s a dancing competition in which the judges give their scores, the public votes, and each week a couple are unfaithful.’

Explaining ‘Strictly’ to an alien

Bernie 11 October 2018 2:00 pm

Boris

Bernie 4 October 2018 1:00 pm

‘Wall-to-wall Brexit again today.’

Forecast

Bernie 27 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Must you be so negative?’

Ice

Bernie 27 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Hush, hush, lower your tone,Christopher Robin is checking his phone.’

Christopher Robin

Bernie 20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘There’s a 12.5 per cent surcharge for American tourists.’

Great wall

Bernie 20 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘The following drama contains a dissatisfying ending that cynically leaves the door open for a second series.’

Drama

Bernie 13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Do you believe there’s life after Brexit?’

Life after Brexit

Bernie 13 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘Seriously babe — I have my own island!’

Message

Bernie 6 September 2018 1:00 pm

‘When we discussed his heart age he had a coronary.’

A+E

Bernie 6 September 2018 1:00 pm

Coconut oil

Bernie 30 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Someone I don’t want to meet just walked in.’

Reaper

Bernie 30 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘These people ought to be locked up!’

G4S

Bernie 23 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Sorry, I don’t have a spare pound today but I plan to have one by 2027.’

Sleep rough

Bernie 16 August 2018 1:00 pm

Oxtail

Bernie 16 August 2018 1:00 pm

Life before phones

Telegrams

Bernie 9 August 2018 1:00 pm

‘Would you like to go for a coffee after work?’

Coffee

Bernie 2 August 2018 1:00 pm

Staycation

Bernie 26 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘They always have to muck around with Macbeth, don’t they?’

Punch and Judy

Bernie 19 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘I remember quiet days like that.’

Flypast

Bernie 12 July 2018 1:00 pm

‘Watch your language, trooper — you swear like a foreign secretary.’

Language

Bernie 28 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘It’s not called “upskirting”, madam — it’s called “architrave”.’

A classical architecture gag

Bernie 21 June 2018 1:00 pm

‘Peter Stringfellow has left you all his clubs.’

Stringfellow

Bernie 14 June 2018 1:00 pm

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