The United Nations has decided it is the right body to re-draw the map of the world. The UN has adopted a resolution to formally phase out the familiar Mercator global map, and replace it with one that (they say) more accurately depicts Africa’s size. At the UN General Assembly session, 164 countries voted to adopt the so-called ‘2018 Equal Earth design’ (including Australia!) – with only the US voting against. The rejected map – the globally familiar Mercator map of the world – was created by Flemish cartographer Gerardus Mercator in 1569. What the UN is trying to do is ‘decolonise cartography’. The word ‘cartography’ was coined in 1860 to mean ‘the drawing of charts or maps.’ As for ‘decolonise’ – the word now means removing the cultural effects of colonisation. There are a string of problems with this UN decision. (1) It is impossible to accurately reproduce the surface of a sphere on flat paper. So every world map is inaccurate. This new map is just inaccurate in different ways from the old Mercator projection. (2) ‘Decolonising’ the culture is a futile and impossible activity. In Australia it would require banning the English language (at the very least). The great gifts of colonisation are so deeply embedded (and are so useful) they cannot be removed. (3) It is not the role of the United Nations to make rulings on the complex science of cartography. That’s up to the global community of cartographers, not a bunch of diplomats.