‘Always knew you were a nonce.’ That text, from a coworker in London, is how I learnt my name had appeared in the latest tranche of the Epstein Files. In the moments prior, I had been sweating profusely – unlike a certain former prince.
I can explain. Yesterday afternoon, the US Department of Justice released three million pages of documents relating to the investigations into Jeffrey Epstein, the late sex trafficker and financier. Among the documents: an email from a certain ‘Duke’ inviting him for dinner at Buckingham Palace; messages to Peter Mandelson’s husband offering to transfer £10,000; mentions of Donald Trump, Elon Musk and Bill Gates (all of whom have denied wrongdoing). Also among the documents: an email I sent in June 2020 to a number of senior figures who worked in the US Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York.
I had been pursuing a comment on a colleague’s story about Andrew and his friendship with Epstein. A source close to Andrew claimed US Attorney Geoffrey Berman was lying about the prince refusing to cooperate. I emailed Berman and his deputies – including James Comey’s daughter Maurene! No reply came.
I had completely forgotten about this interaction until yesterday, on what was otherwise a normal Friday. I got up, had coffee and granola, edited a couple of newsletters and took a work call. At lunch, I switched my phone to Do Not Disturb and went on the treadmill in my building’s gym for 20 minutes. The next time I looked at my phone, after mopping the sweat from my brow, there was a message associating me with America’s most notorious sex offender.
Not a great text to receive, is it? ‘You’re in the Epstein Files.’ I would say it’s down there, with ‘you have chlamydia’ and ‘granddad’s had a fall’ among the worst. Apologies for being that friend who’s too woke – but I happen to think Jeffrey Epstein was a bad guy, and don’t much care for the association.
In the hours since, the messages have been pouring in. ‘My colleagues are v impressed you got yourself into the Epstein Files,’ texts one friend, who also described it as ‘v on brand’, which I don’t love. ‘Should you add it to your Hinge bio?’ suggests another. Probably not!
Of all of the things you could appear in the Epstein Files for, at least I’m documented scrupulously doing my job. Yet of all the names that were redacted, mine wasn’t? Typical.
