You’re either in front of Mr S or you are behind. It was just six weeks ago that Steerpike reported that staff within Tory HQ were expecting to soon leave their longtime base on Matthew Parker Street. With the party’s lease up next summer, a new headquarters is needed. And today, the Conservatives have told their members that they have bought and now own a new home outright. In an email seen by Mr S, Kemi Badenoch writes that:

No rent. No lease. A permanent base in Westminster we can call our own. Our new home is a sign we are moving forward, putting our finances on a stronger and more sustainable footing… This new headquarters will be more than an office. It will be a campaign engine for councillors, candidates and activists across Britain. A home for the entire Conservative family, wherever you live. A place where ideas can be turned into action, and action into victory.

The move out of Matthew Parker Street will raise eyebrows among some in Westminster, who equate the swish Georgian red-brick HQ with financial viability. But Steerpike has been assured by senior Tories that their new home – funded by the Conservative Party Foundation – will more than compensate. Boasting 12,000 square feet of office space over five floors, the new Castle Lane location is half a mile from parliament and near both Westminster and St James Park tube stations.

The purchase of a permanent home has been the primary ambition of the Foundation since its establishment. The price of this new home? An impressive £14.3 million. It is the first time that the Tories have had a permanent base since flogging their Smith Square property back in 2007. ‘A year ago, our opponents were writing off the Conservative party’, says Badenoch. ‘They said we were too broke to survive. Today proves how wrote they were.’

Just pity the poor bar staff at the local Two Chairmen who now face a fiscal black hole that would put Rachel Reeves to shame…