Towards the end of his life, suffering from culminating decades of decadence and subsequent ill health, Benjamin Franklin penned a humorous dialogue between himself and a personified interpretation of the source of all his ills: gout. Gout, taking the personality of a scolding schoolmarm, chastises Franklin for his indulgence and sedentary lifestyle, pointing out that he ‘ate and drank too freely, and too much indulged those legs of yours in their indolence’.