‘Read the room…’ is what an exhausted Labor supporter wrote on X, having cringed at the Prime Minister’s defence of his cliff-side mansion.

Politicians are not a species of human known for their divinity, and yet – since the dawn of democracy – they have insisted on running puritanical campaigns that paint themselves as the spiritual leader of whatever is in fashion.

Albanese, as a socialist-leaning ‘man of the people’, appealed to struggling Aussies using his ‘housing commission boy’ aesthetic in the same way that Kamala Harris dons the cloak of whichever minority group she’s addressing.

The problem with being a ‘man of the people’ is that you have to live the life of the people. Doing things like catching public transport for a photo shoot, as others have done, draws attention to the chauffeured car and private jet in the background.

Being a ‘straight white man’, Albanese has very little to work with in the Oppression Math that dominates left-wing politics. Buying a $4.3 million beach house isn’t ‘vibing’.

His Labor colleagues, who no doubt strip themselves of any stray diamonds or gold before approaching the cameras, are said to be ‘gobsmacked’ at the ‘self-sabotage’.

But really… How much more damage can ‘Airbus Albo’ do at this point?

It’s not that his Labor friends disagree with living the high life on generous taxpayer-funded salaries – salaries that mysteriously increase while the average Aussie empties their wallet into the Treasury – it’s more that Labor would prefer the Prime Minister buy the lavish house after the election, or preferably, after he leaves office.

How many left-wing journalists snapped their pens when the Prime Minister said, ‘I also know what it is like to struggle. My mum lived in the public housing that she was born in for all of her 65 years.’

A pattern is forming where politicians who preach socialist-lite policies are getting richer while the average capitalist family funding everything is being taxed harder. They are starting to see this as a wealth transference from the people to the political class.

The Prime Minister’s insistence that he wants to ‘help all Australians into a home’ is cold comfort to families competing against migrants or those who are being pushed out of their childhood suburbs.

In a cafe earlier this week, an elderly woman sat behind me and broke down in tears over her coffee, having finally put her apartment up for sale after 50 years. The cafe owner, a kind man who was only recently talking about the struggle of raising the price of coffee, was not sure what to do. Hers is another of the million stories the Prime Minister won’t be able to hear over the sound of waves crashing against the cliffs.

Opposition Leader Peter Dutton chose not to weigh into the debate, largely because he doesn’t need to – the damage is well and truly done.

‘It’s a matter for the Prime Minister, but I wish he and Jodie well. They’re obviously planning for their next stage of life post-politics…’

That was a tad sneaky of Dutton. Was he suggesting his rival might not be long for the office?

Conservatives, who champion the free market and economic success, naturally have to be careful attacking anyone – even their political opposition – over the acquisition of a house. It’s a murky argument to wade into once you stray beyond the (valid) ‘hypocrisy’ complaint.

Besides, the ABC is earning its keep (for once!) doing that for us, with a subheading: The beachside house creates a simple metaphor.

Nicely put.

No, if conservatives want to start gnawing on the last bones of the Albanese regime, they could point out the bizarre nature of an oceanside mansion for a man whose party spends its days fearmongering about climate change and the imminent catastrophic rise of the seas that will – literally – destroy the world unless people start trading in carbon and tearing down the forests for wind turbines.

Has Albanese moved closer to the ocean to get a front-row seat to the apocalypse?