As the Church of England once again tears itself apart over gay marriage, us transsexual Christians have slipped in under the radar. It’s been 24 years since the first transgender CofE priest, Carol Stone, returned to work in Swindon after gender reassignment surgery. Even in 2000, Stone’s parishioners weren’t that bothered about their ‘new’ vicar. I’ve also found my fellow Christians to be mostly welcoming – but that doesn’t mean being a trans Christian is without its dilemmas.

In my youth I struggled to reconcile science and faith, but that challenge was easy compared to the rather more profound clash of transsexualism with faith. Nowhere does the Bible say ‘thou shalt not study science, nor claimeth that the earth is 4.6 billion years old’. But there is a verse that speaks about cross-dressing: Deuteronomy 22:5: ‘A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this’. What that entails is, of course, open to interpretation. Does it really mean, for example, that women should not wear clothes marketed as men’s garments, as is perhaps the case today in Iran and Afghanistan?

The Bible sees things rather differently

The implication for transsexualism cannot be ignored, and I would be naïve to imagine that I had solved that conundrum. The compulsion to transition was very strong – in my book, Transsexual Apostate, I argued that it was driven by the male sex drive itself. Even I, a rational scientist in my day job, could not withstand it. However, despite the apparent contradictions, transsexualism did help me bring science and my faith together. As a scientist, I am persuaded that we are the product of millions of years of evolution. Our bodies evolved to protect us long enough to pass on our genes and nurture our children. In the case of human beings where the young take many years to grow to maturity, evolution left us with bodies that outlast the reproductive years. Throughout history, it allowed grandparents to care for their grandchildren, freeing the middle generation – in the prime of life – to provide food and goods for the community and protect it from external threats. Had those things not happened then we would likely not be here to discuss the alternative outcome.

It’s not just our bodies that evolved. Our minds came with at least some applications pre-installed. Nobody teaches us how to breathe, for example, or – equally significantly for the survival of the species – to be, in general, sexually attracted to the opposite sex. Those things are hard-wired, as in any other species. But being attracted is just half of the sexual dynamic; we are also in competition to attract others. Like other species, human beings broadcast their sexual fitness. Male peacocks show off their tail feathers; humans have clothing and adornments that display and flatter their bodies. We like to be perceived as attractive. We usually don’t notice that most adults are constantly signalling their sexual fitness; it’s ubiquitous. But when transsexual people ‘signal’ in the same way as the opposite sex – and for related, basically sexual reasons – it suddenly becomes incongruous and ‘visible’. Transitioning shouldn’t be seen so much as an attempt to change our sex – that really is impossible – but an attempt to change the way that others perceive us.

All these propositions demolish the blank slate theory that I once held – that our minds, thoughts, characters and abilities are the product of social conditioning. In that world view, if the external conditions were right, we could all achieve whatever we wanted to – as long as we worked hard enough for it.

The Bible sees things rather differently. Ephesians 1:11 is another of those awkward verses, ‘In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will’. But, taking God out of it, that verse could equally be describing the process of evolution: we are the product of evolution, and that product is here to survive long enough to continue the process. With that in mind, it’s no wonder that, if God was not here at the start, human beings would have created Him to give meaning to their lives. Ironically, long-standing religious tradition offers some of the same insights into human nature as modern evolutionary psychology.

I tread an uneasy path as a transsexual Christian

While both transsexualism and homosexuality appear to be variations of human behaviour, it’s hard to see how either of them aid the propagation of the species. If the Bible is a commentary on human nature and human society, it’s not surprising that both are questioned within its pages. But neither are talked about at great length; Jesus didn’t mention them. There were far more pressing matters to consider – the relationships between people, for example, and the construction of communities, societies, and nations.

One thread that does run through the Bible is the work of the prophets who spoke truth to power – inconvenient truths that neither the powerful, nor the crowd, maybe wanted to hear. Today, when new ideologies appear that take on the hallmarks of religions – gender identity ideology, for example, with its creeds and mantras – someone needs to speak truth to them as well.

So while I do tread an uneasy path as a transsexual Christian, there is work to do. And, though I struggle with that combination, I have reconciled science with my faith, and in ways I never expected. Whether you believe God pre-wired us as human beings, or whether people have evolved as time has passed, we are part of the world and need to work with the world that is, not the world we would like it to be. Perhaps there is a lesson there for the Church of England.