Q. We have been invited to a small but formal dinner in the presence of someone who has been a lifelong hero to my husband. Tragically, my husband has developed anxieties about bladder control in high-level social situations where there may be difficulty accessing a loo. Hence he wants me to refuse this prized invitation.

– Name and address withheld

A. Nurse Kate steps in to address this problem. ‘It sounds as though rather than incontinence itself, your husband has an urge/frequency problem, which could be tackled with bladder training and possibly some quite effective medication. For the purposes of his night out, I would recommend a product readily available in chemists called Tena Men Premium Fit Level 4 Pants. They come in packs of ten for around £8.25, and are essentially pull-up disposable pants with excellent super-absorbent padding. They are not too bulky, so wouldn’t be noticeable under his suit.’

Q. My boyfriend and I are shortly to stay with old friends of his. I hear that while the husband is a known sweetie, the wife is very competitive with other women and likes to lead wild swimming parties to a river on their estate where there is no jetty. This is so she can show off how athletic she is, while her novice female guests are shown at a disadvantage as they scrabble and slither on the riverbank trying to get in or out. My boyfriend doesn’t want me to be a killjoy by not swimming.

– A.H., Bath

A. Order a (2.8m when extended) steel ladder from Argos (£55). Have this delivered to the friends before your visit, and when you arrive your boyfriend can chuckle that, having seen one at another riparian property, he thought it would make a marvellously original present as it can remain on the riverbank as a permanent fixture.

Q. On a visit to Glyndebourne recently, I was astonished to see a well-dressed member of the audience plucking pears from one of the carefully tended trees in the garden. He was clearly not a member of the Christie family. Should I have confronted him? If so, given that the atmosphere on these occasions is lighthearted and celebratory, what should I have said without spoiling his evening – or mine?

– C.M.Y., London

A. You might have solved the mystery by acting daft, approaching with friendly demeanour and widened childish eyes. ‘Excuse me, but can we all help ourselves? Is it all-inclusive in Glyndebourne?’ The pear-plucker would have been forced to reply either that he helped himself only because he was a guest of the Christies (possible)or that he had to admit he had stolen them.