Q. I have become a lodger in a fortunate friend’s flat in Mayfair. We are both single and I am keen to start giving parties there. I had a trial run which was successful, bar the presence of one inebriated guest who went around indiscriminately insulting people – for example he walked up to a female guest and swore at her, before jeering at another guest’s hairstyle, proclaiming: ‘Only a Nazi would have hair like that.’ To top it all, he fell asleep on the dancefloor. He has a loyal harem of female handlers who look after him and go around apologising in his wake. Inexplicably this man is ‘best friends’ with my flatmate and fellow host – so how can I prevent him from attending our next event?

– Name and address withheld

A. Suggest to your landlord that instead of inviting the offending guest to your next party, you host a separate dinner party in his honour, inviting only those who inexplicably like him. In this way he can enjoy an evening of drinking to excess and insulting people with no repercussions. Say in kind tones: ‘He will enjoy that so much more than going to a party with people who don’t see the point of him.’

Q. I live in central London but also maintain small homes both in France and in the Swiss mountains. Throughout the respective seasons, we host a cavalcade of lovely UK friends and guests. Delightful and trustworthy though they all are, the annual rate at which our electric plug adapters ‘disappear’ is truly exasperating. Mary, can you suggest a way in which I could put a stop to this once and for all? Or is it just a question of getting some better quality friends? Since all our friends are Spectator readers I hope you will understand why I need to have my…

– …name and address withheld

A. Suggest to your landlord that instead of inviting the offending guest to your next party, you host a separate dinner party in his honour, inviting only those who inexplicably like him. In this way he can enjoy an evening of drinking to excess and insulting people with no repercussions. Say in kind tones: ‘He will enjoy that so much more than going to a party with people who don’t see the point of him

Q. The daughter of one of my mother’s friends keeps inviting me to parties in London. I don’t want to go because I don’t know any of her friends and they all sound quite intimidating. I understand that these parties also go on till about 6 a.m. I am running out of excuses. Mary, how can I say ‘Don’t ask me again’ without causing offence?

– R.H., London SW10

A. No need for this. Reply at once to the next invitation asking could you possibly come just for the drinks, as you have another commitment later that night. You will feel much less intimidated by the thought of a one-hour appearance. You will also get the measure of these events, and once you have tested the waters, so to speak, you may well find you want to plunge in fully.

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