The number one rule of consumer media is to understand your audience – unless you work at the(ir) ABC. 

The Sydney Morning Herald reported leaks on Sunday from a meeting ABC boss Gaven Morris had with staff. 

Gathered staff were, reportedly told they were too focused on the interests of “inner-city left-wing elites.” 

Not one, not two, but three ABC staff decided to run screaming to the media to tell tales on a boss who dared to remind them who they actually work for.  

The three snitches told of a mean boss who spoke too “harshly”.  

“The idea we would shape coverage to please our masters is very worrying,” one sobbing snitch told Sydney Morning Herald and The Age.

What Morris had actually said was, apparently, “It’s a value proposition back to taxpayers, back to Australians. If there is a perception in the community that we are more interested in the concerns and lives of inner-city elites, then we need to work harder to make sure we are as relevant to people in central Queensland as we are to people in inner Sydney.”  

How dare he? 

How dare he remind ABC staff that they should strive to reflect the whole country rather than certain elitist pockets? 

How dare he remind said staff that they should attempt to provide coverage that the entire audience, right across the country, might want to watch? 

How dare he not simply allow taxpayer funds to flow freely into their bank accounts, sans KPI? 

How dare he attempt to suggest that editorial strategy should be — shock, horror — relevant? 

How dare he suggest that media coverage compulsorily paid for by all Australians should — gasp — provide value to all Australians?  

How dare he drop the word “accountable” in front of the collective of self-righteous, entitled clowns who wouldn’t survive one week in the real world? 

And, of course, what better way to prove how allergic to responsibility this collective of absolute morons are than three snitches coming out of the meeting, rubbing their damp eyes, stamping their feet, and screeching to the mainstream media? 

Cue screeching about the(ir) ABC being an LNP propaganda outfit.  

You couldn’t write this script any better if you stuffed it full of taxpayer funding.