Flat White

Lockdown or lectures from leftist luvvies? It’s hard to tell what’s worse

23 August 2020

6:02 PM

23 August 2020

6:02 PM

Not content with locking citizens in their homes and destroying their livelihoods, the Victorian Government has now employed television’s most dim-witted character to lecture them about their behaviour.

An advertising campaign launched at the weekend features comedian and marriage equality campaign pinup Magda Szubanski as the moronic “Sharon”, from Kath and Kim, telling Victorians “the sooner we obey the rules the sooner this will all be over”.

The ad, which is about as funny as being fined by police for visiting your mum on Mother’s Day, shows Sharon playing a game of netball against herself.

“I tell you what, I am so over this lockdown,” she huffs.

“Playing netball against yourself is not all it’s cracked up to be, especially when you still can’t even win.”

This, of course, is hilarious.

Obviously the Andrews Government expects voters to forget that they are banned from travelling more than five kilometres from home or from being out after dark and roll around on their sanitised floors, laughing uncontrollably through their face masks.

But then comes the serious part.

The moronic Sharon looks down the camera and tells Victorians in a serious voice:  “But you know what, it’s not the lockdown that’s the enemy, it’s the virus and the sooner we obey the rules the sooner this will all be over and we can get back to the stuff that really matters…”

Cue pregnant pause for comedic effect.

Now, of course, we all think she’s going to say something like “employment” or “visiting family” or “getting back to church”.

But instead, Sharon says “netty”, which is side-splittingly funny because we all thought she was going to say something that really mattered.

And on top of that, “netty” is such an amusing word for netball. So the gag works on more levels than a hotel quarantine security guard.

She finishes the video by ‘subbing herself’ back into the game, claiming she is the most valuable member of the team.

If that wasn’t repulsive enough, Victoria’s Chief Health Officer, Professor Brett Sutton, took time out from the pandemic to Tweet about the advertisement: “Nice work Shaz. From Bretty (Bretty Bretty)” which is just too funny because Bretty is, of course, one of the other Kath and Kim characters.

The Victoria Police Twitter account sent out a message: “You’ll always be the MVP to us, Sharon”, by which we presume they meant Most Valuable Propagandist.

I haven’t checked the Stage 4 restrictions small print, but with the way things are in Victoria right now, it’s quite possible that police are going door-to-door to make sure people are laughing.

Illustration: Victorian Government.

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