The Morrison Government is moving to eradicate a new Australia logo that bears an uncanny resemblance to the Coronavirus just two months after it escaped from a state-sponsored design laboratory.
The logo was released to the world in July after reports that a team of specialists including Qantas CEO Alan Joyce and mining magnate Andrew Forest had been secretly experimenting on it for years.
The government has denied this, insisting that the logo originated in a woke market where batty ideas were regularly ingested.
Whatever its origins, a report in The Australian today said that the Government would act swiftly to quarantine the virus-like logo before it spread to international trade shows and exhibitions.
Meanwhile, the World Health Organisation tweeted: “Preliminary investigations have found no clear evidence that the marketing logo can spread anything at all.”
Researchers struggling to unlock the meaning of the logo said it vaguely resembled “a glow of wattle” but warned that it was unlike anything they had ever seen before.
Those exposed to the logo, even when wearing a mask, reportedly became immediately confused.
Researchers warned there was currently no drug available to help people understand it.
“It looks most like a virus,” they said. “What we know for sure is that it was designed by a committee, which explains the strange mutation from something easily recognisable to something dangerously incomprehensible like this.
It is believed government ministers are concerned that, if allowed to spread, the logo could cost the nation far more than the $10m spent developing it in lost trade opportunities.
If the logo cannot be eradicated, scientists will attempt to alter the existing design so as to minimise damage.
But the Daniel Andrews Government is urging Canberra to reconsider its eradication strategy. Instead, they have offered to employ a security firm specialising in diversity and inclusion to spread the logo throughout Victoria where it could become the official and easily recognizable coat of arms.
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