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Can you be a feminist and still fuck men?

11 October 2018

4:05 PM

11 October 2018

4:05 PM

Unfortunately, the headline to this article isn’t clickbait — it’s something far worse.

Can you be a feminist and still fuck men is an event taking place tomorrow night in Melbourne.

The description for the event reads:

With the majority of domestic and emotional labour STILL falling to women and orgasm rates the lowest amongst heterosexual females. Can women really reach their potential whilst spending their lives with men? Do we need to cut off the ball and chain once and for all and fully reject the patriarchy?

I’m not sure how others feel after reading this bile? But I’d prefer to stab a rusty fork into my eyeballs than attend this event.

It’s easy to revel in victimhood — when posting misandry-flavoured events on Facebook. Or lying on the sofa, drinking vodka and watching Netflix in a first world country.

The fact is, Western chicks enjoy more safety and privilege than any other time throughout history. And they have more rights in 2018 than ever before. Travel to Congo, India or Afghanistan and perhaps it will make you realise how great you actually have it.

After you’ve finished fingering your pussies and fantasising about inequality. Step outside and look at the houses in your street.

After you’re done looking at the houses, look at the footpaths and roads.

After you’ve looked at the footpaths and roads. Look up at the buildings — then down at the cars.


Who do you think did all that labour? I’ll give you a hint — it wasn’t women!

Yes, inequalities between the sexes exist.

Yes, sexism exists — for BOTH sexes.

And it’s true that being a chick comes with certain risks and dangers.

But so does being born to homeless parents. So does being born with a physical or mental disability. So does being born in a whorehouse or rice field. So does being born as a child of rape or incest. So does being born gay, transgender or a WHITE bloke. Let’s face it — being born is ‘risky business’. Period.

And as far as orgasm rates being at the lowest amongst heterosexual females. Where is the science and studies to support this outlandish claim? Or did you just pluck it out of your arse?

And what do Handsome Her (who are holding this misandrist event) suggest heterosexual feminists do? If they are to give up the dick? Become lesbians? Befriend a sex-toy?

I’m a bisexual sex-columnist who reviews female vibrators and dildos weekly. But there’s only so much fake phallicness a girl can handle before she starts to crave the REAL thing.

Can you be a feminist and still fuck men?

Well, I’m probably the wrong person to ask because I detached from feminism two years ago and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

Only last week in my Boys Won’t Be Boys article for The Spectator, I spoke about male erasure and how today’s world would be an erotic dream to sixties feminazi — Valerie Solanis, who fantasised about male genocide.

It seems my article was psychic, judging by the title and description of this event. Perhaps it could be the title of Queen Clementine’s next book?

Anyway, here’s a suggestion:

Why don’t feminists just fuck each other and themselves? That way, we won’t have to listen to your continual crybaby whinging day in day out.

Blokes won’t lose out.

There’s plenty of non-feminists who will happily spread their legs for them.

Vanessa de Largie is a freelance journalist and sex columnist who divides her time between London and Melbourne.

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