Kate Middleton
Low life
I got off the plane at Changi still pleasantly sedated by Xanax, passed through the ‘nothing to declare’ channel, and…
How many royal cliches can you fit into a single Channel 4 documentary?
In 2011, the Daily Mail carried a long story about how the Queen’s cousin Prince William of Gloucester, who died…
Whose hair are you buying?
British people buy £43 million worth of human hair a year. So who’s selling?
Charles III is made for numbskulls by numbskulls
Suppose Charles were to reign as a meddlesome, self-pitying, indecisive plonker. It’s a thought. It’s now a play, too, by…
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Cartoons
‘There’s no easy way to put this, Ted, but we need to reduce staff levels and you’re a member of the demographic group no one cares about.’
‘I thought we were in coalitionwith Sinn Fein?’
‘Police?’
‘Oh no, while he’s inside he’s become radicalised.’
‘Typical. You wait for ages and then 4,000 come along at once.’
‘I’ll have to knock down your doll’s
house to make way for my HS2 train set.’
‘Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m sure
you won’t mind, if I don’t kiss you…’
‘Before you go, can you phone my wife
and let her know I’ll be a bit late?’
‘It’s the land of the scot free.’
‘Our target is to meet net zero by 2035.’
‘Smart motorways are far too dangerous — stick to A roads.’
‘They built this hospital in just ten days, you know!’