Advice
Dear Mary: How do I avoid getting shown up by a more chivalrous bachelor?
Q. My godfather, who has managed to get me a valuable internship in the Far East, has also sent me…
Dear Mary: Can I remain friends with someone who has a frozen face?
Q. A close friend of my own age, 52, has had various things done to her face and now looks…
Dear Mary: How can I catch a ‘re-gifter’ out?
Q. I live in a small house in Hampstead and have taken in a friend of a friend as a…
Dear Mary: Can I retract a party invitation without causing offence?
Q. A very likeable woman has joined the company I work for and also just moved to my village. I…
Dear Mary: Do we turn up at a party even though no written invitation arrived?
Q. An extremely old friend is a successful purveyor of high-end goods. Last time we saw him he invited us…
Dear Mary: How do we tie down an invitation to our friends’ holiday home?
Q. Some friends of ours have an amazing house on the coast in Kenya. Every time we see them they…
Dear Mary: How can I turn down invitations without offending people?
Q. I was recently lent six books by a friend I see regularly for yoga. I was bemoaning the fact…
Dear Mary: Should I leave a tip for my hard-up friend’s imaginary daily?
Q. My son’s new girlfriend is really sweet but my husband and I find it annoying how she puts her…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid offending old friends if I don’t recognise them at a party?
Q. I am shortly to attend a big London party at which I will see many old acquaintances. However, first…
Dear Mary: How do I find out if my handsome bathroom salesman is single?
Q. A decade ago I commissioned a handmade velvet opera coat from a fabulous local designer. She was then struggling…
Dear Mary: Help! My neighbour knows I lied about her daughter’s wedding photos
Q. I have been booked to give my first talk on my field of professional interest. I happen to have…
Dear Mary: Do I have to read the romantic novel my neighbour has based on me?
Q. A woman in our village has written a romantic novel in which one of the leading characters is said…
Dear Mary: How can I find out who else is coming to a house party?
Q. I have accepted an invitation to a five-day house party in Scotland. I know it is a breach of…
Dear Mary: How do I get a Lycra-wearing cyclist to dress for drinks?
Q. A good friend often cycles over when I invite him for drinks. The trouble is he insists on turning…
Dear Mary: How do we avoid having dinner with our new cruise friends every night?
Q. My twins’ birthday is coming up, but we will be in the country. Their godparents are usually punctilious, but…
Dear Mary: Was I wrong to strip my guest’s bed before she left?
Q. My friend has had an irritating experience in our local cinema. She speaks fluent French and teaches it in…
Dear Mary: How do I calculate how much caviar to take?
Q. While on holiday in Corfu, we met a rather nice man who invited us to his house for dinner.…
Dear Mary: Help! My neighbour keeps getting me drunk
Q. We have a neighbour who always overfills my glass. I beg her not to. Even if I commit the…
Dear Mary: How can I get through a long, exhausting wedding?
Q. When I have an arrangement to meet a certain friend for lunch she sometimes turns up with a streaming…
Dear Mary: How do we handle staying with friends with very different political views?
Q. We are going to stay with some old friends who we haven’t seen for a couple of years as…
Dear Mary: How do I ditch my slow-walking friend?
Q. I recently attended an opera on a friend’s estate in Kent. It was a multi-generational, non-ticketed, invitation-only event. The…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my friends going on about their ‘neurodivergence’?
Q. Everyone I know pretends to have neurodivergence to make themselves seem more unusual and so they can talk about…
Dear Mary: How do you leave a party early?
Q. How can you leave a party early – e.g. at midnight rather than 4 a.m. – without everyone thinking…
Dear Mary: How do you decipher modern RSVPs?
Q. I was caught off guard last week by a busybody mother at my son’s boarding school asking us to…
Dear Mary: how can I relax about the clothes moths in my home?
Q. Having previously lived in the country in a field with my nearest neighbour not even visible, I recently moved…
