Diary
What happened to Piers Morgan
‘What happened to Piers Morgan?’ asked a Spectator writer last weekend. The answer, according to slavishly pro-Israel commentator Jonathan Sacerdoti,…
Satire is nothing without contempt
On 30 April, the solicitors Mishcon de Reya asked me to join a panel commemorating the 25th anniversary of the…
Should we give weight loss jabs to children?
I have seen the future of food. And some of you won’t like it. On a research trip to the…
The truth about my relationship with Phil Spencer
I never thought I would read a headline like ‘Kirstie Allsopp’s husband enables upskirting’. Regrettably, this type of nonsense has…
Can the British film industry survive Trump’s tariffs?
On the road with a new book, I recently spoke at a literary luncheon hosted by the Cambridge Festival. What…
How silence makes music
‘What!? But they won’t let you in!’ and ‘What!? But they’ll detain you at the border!’ and ‘What!? But they’re…
Bring on the Trump protests
The coming week will see the last major commemoration of a second world war anniversary – 80 years since VE-Day…
Men are allowed to fail, too
The weather in Bath has been preposterously good, with the Royal Crescent glowing in a soft, lemony light. I’m here…
Spare us from performative piety
Lent did not, I confess, start well. Cheltenham fell in its first week, and the Gold Cup is hardly the…
Heaven is an oeuf en gelée
The cherry blossom was at its finest as I made my last early morning trip through Regent’s Park to Broadcasting…
My manifesto for the next Archbishop of Canterbury
When I told a Westminster political editor that my novel NUNC! was about the prophet Simeon and the Nunc Dimittis,…
Steve Witkoff is wrong to see peace in Putin’s eyes
Kyiv ‘It doesn’t surprise me that they’re abolishing the Ministry of Education,’ my old friend Dima told me. ‘Judging by…
What Donald Trump told me about Keir Starmer
Two months into President Donald Trump’s second term, the habitual liberal hysteria about his rollercoaster presidential style is reaching shrieking…
Will I be sidelined by AI?
I’ve been head down for the past few weeks, preparing for my one-man show. The title is catchy – Nigel…
My faux pas with Washington’s most eligible bachelorette
To the Queen Anne splendour of the British ambassador’s residence in Washington for Peter Mandelson’s welcome party as our man…
The secret to a great service station
A couple of months ago, an invitation arrived. Would I like a room at the Savoy for the Baftas? I…
Have I been blacklisted by the binmen?
Monday, and Camden council have yet again failed to empty my food waste bin. They never miss my rubbish or…
Why don’t Yale students want to drink?
They say it is good to learn new skills as you get older. Well here goes. I am about to…
I feel sorry for ‘Rachel from accounts’
There’s no statute of limitations on reporting a government minister’s embarrassing oops-a-daisy. It’s no good them doing a duck-dive, hoping…
Save our cathedrals!
My beloved 1967 Gibson Les Paul Goldtop guitar is now locked away until December at the earliest. For the past…
Give David Beckham a knighthood
Donald Trump descends on Davos as if he were in Apocalypse Now. Four years ago I saw his cavalcade of…
Am I a MAGA icon?
‘Traitor!’ the woman yelled at me the instant I entered the beautifully decorated living room of a famous actress. It…
Our family is growing – and our dog is bound to be unimpressed
I am now well into my second pregnancy. Having conceived through IVF the first time, we were fortunate to have…
I’m not the only football-obsessed composer
I was in Sweden a few weeks ago, where my music was presented in Stockholm in the most recent International…
I’m a fighter, not a quitter
‘Ring out the old, ring in the new…’ This was the year I discovered that one of my ancestors had…
