Cartoon

‘Area’s on the up. Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin.’

Shoes

The Spectator 31 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Remind me to nip in and get some Battenburg on the way home’

Cake

The Spectator 31 May 2014 9:00 am

Feet

The Spectator 31 May 2014 9:00 am

‘That’s what happens when you start a relationship at work!’

Relationship

The Spectator 31 May 2014 9:00 am

Vet

The Spectator 31 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Anyone sitting here?’

Rowing

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘These are distressed and these are just slightly upset.’

Jeans

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

Fridge

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Breakfast in bed… freshly brewed coffee… and the morning-after pill. You really are the perfect boyfriend.’

Breakfast

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘My imaginary friend disagrees.’

Internet

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Have you crawled far?’

Chelsea

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

Barlow

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘We want to settle down and have a housing crisis together.’

Housing

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Miro, Miro on the wall, who is the wealthiest one of all?’

Miro

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

Train

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘As the plane took off, the transplant surgeon opened the ice box and realised that he’d left his heart in San Francisco.’

Heart

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘I know it’s tempting but can you please stop popping the damn stuff while you’re making it.’

Wrap

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘OK, but for identification purposes a trench coat and rolled-up copy of the Times would have been preferable.’

Id

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s fusion food — they mix cheap ingredients with sky-high prices.’

Fusion

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Makes you realise just how small and insignificant you are, doesn’t it?’

Insignificant

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Ah, that new baby smell — I’ve got some Chanel No. 5 here that can sort that out.’

Smell

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘He’s a regular.’

Regular

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘He soon tired of the porn. Now he watches property prices going through the roof.’

Prices

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

Pool

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

Gram

The Spectator 24 May 2014 9:00 am

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