Cartoon

‘…and we believe that each of us has an angel that looks after us.’

Angel

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘No, it’s neck and neck. These are the spoilt ballots.’

Spoilt

2 May 2015 9:00 am

Dog

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘The gods are unfriending us on Facebook tonight.’

Facebook

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘I preferred him when he just had a hammer.’

Thor

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘It’s how my beautiful assistant would have wanted it.’

Graveyard

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘I say, didn’t you used to be A.P. McCoy?’

McCoy

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘It’ll never last.’

Care home

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘You can have one of my kitchens!’

Ed

2 May 2015 9:00 am

‘The problems started when we both lost our smartphones and had to talk to each other.’

Smartphones

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘You’re right — oil on canvas.’

Oil

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘Do you ever wonder just what Earthlings look like?’

Earthlings

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘We must remember to send the Johnsons a death threat.’

Death threat

25 April 2015 9:00 am

Ark

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘We’re worried he may be addicted to online porn.’

Addicted

25 April 2015 9:00 am

Hello

25 April 2015 9:00 am

Lib Dem

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘Oh, Malcolm — is this a raft of proposals?’

Proposals

25 April 2015 9:00 am

Romance

25 April 2015 9:00 am

Fridge magnet

Magnet

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘I can’t stand Labour party electioneering. What’s on ITV?’

TV

25 April 2015 9:00 am

Krill

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘Apparently she used to be a city tour guide.’

Bo Peep

25 April 2015 9:00 am

‘Is Ed Miliband actually talking or is it Nicola Sturgeon doing his voice?’

BGT

25 April 2015 9:00 am

This is Jason, my ghostwriter. Jason, dear, she wants my autograph.’

Writer

18 April 2015 9:00 am