The Spectator

‘Now that’s a real mullet.’

Mullet

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘And this is where the snorkelling adventure took a turn for the worse. You may want to look away.’

Snorkelling

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Reversing

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘They fill the gap left by the chocolate vending machines that we were forced to get rid of — and they make much more profit.’

Machines

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘You asked to see the cheese board.’

Dairy

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Risk Assessment

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Pension Pot

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Stone Age Selfie

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I’ve always loved nice bread then one day I thought, “I know, why don’t I bake my own?”’

Bread

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Patriot games

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Possibly because his oratory is no match for his much-displayed pectoral muscles, the speeches of Vladimir Putin are seldom reported…

Portrait of the week

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Home Nigel Evans, who had resigned as deputy speaker before being cleared of a bundle of rape and sexual assault…

Letters

19 April 2014 9:00 am

When the wind blows Sir: Clare Oxford’s piece (‘Gone with the wind turbines’, 12 April) is both timely and sad.…

Barometer

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Done a runner Mami Konneh Lahun, a 24-year-old athlete from Sierra Leone, went missing after finishing as the 20th-placed woman…

Books and arts

19 April 2014 9:00 am

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Drugs

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I wish you’d get a job at GCHQ — then you might actually start to listen to me.’

Listen

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Apart from your generation’s over-inflated sense of self-worth, what else makes you the best candidate for this vacancy?’

Vacancy

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s nice, but it’s a little over our price range.’

Box

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘They’re short-term memory sticks.’

Memory

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘He moved to the right before he got old.’

Right

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Nanotechnology

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘This is what I was dreading — not having to fly home.’

Lanzarote

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I’d invite you in, but as we’ve already had sex behind the kebab van I don’t see there’s much point.’

Kebab

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Don’t wake him up — sleepwalking is the only exercise he gets.’

Sleepwalk

19 April 2014 9:00 am

World

19 April 2014 9:00 am