The Spectator

‘You’re always in here creating a problem. Just get out.’

Problems

3 May 2014 9:00 am

‘I know you’re my husband but this is the only way I can get you to give me a bit of attention.’

Attention

3 May 2014 9:00 am

Dating

3 May 2014 9:00 am

Jam

3 May 2014 9:00 am

Tap

3 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Raping and pillaging? No, apparently they’re here to offer an affordable childcare service.’

Pillaging

3 May 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m getting very worried about our property bubble.’

Fish

3 May 2014 9:00 am

Texts

3 May 2014 9:00 am

How to lose a country

26 April 2014 9:00 am

For centuries, the possibility of Scottish independence seemed so remote as to be laughable. Until recently the nationalists seemed quixotic,…

Portrait of the week

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Home David Cameron, the Prime Minister, appeared in public with George Osborne, the Chancellor of the Exchequer — the first…

Letters

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Aids is still deadly Sir: Dr Pemberton (‘Life after Aids’, 19 April) subscribes to the now prevalent view that we have…

Colour, flight, light: ‘Memory of Oceania’, 1952–3, by Matisse

Books and arts

26 April 2014 9:00 am

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‘Nothing prepares you for the lack of sleep.’

Baby

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Emergency

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Don’t go on at the boy — kids have always fought.’

Boy

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Dog

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘In some ways, he regrets buying that pint of milk.’

Survey

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Want to see what the class is saying about you online, sir?’

Apple

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Can I call you back? I’m in a bard place.’

Bard

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘If only we’d invested in crystal meth.’

Meth

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Shopping

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘We’re modernising the postal service.’

Post

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Sheepdog

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘But we’ve not ordered a bouncy castle.’

Bouncy

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m going to have to love you, like you on Facebook, connect with you on LinkedIn, follow you on Twitter — and leave you.’

Love

26 April 2014 9:00 am