The Spectator

‘These are distressed and these are just slightly upset.’

Jeans

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Fridge

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Breakfast in bed… freshly brewed coffee… and the morning-after pill. You really are the perfect boyfriend.’

Breakfast

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘My imaginary friend disagrees.’

Internet

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Have you crawled far?’

Chelsea

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Barlow

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘We want to settle down and have a housing crisis together.’

Housing

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Miro, Miro on the wall, who is the wealthiest one of all?’

Miro

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Train

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘As the plane took off, the transplant surgeon opened the ice box and realised that he’d left his heart in San Francisco.’

Heart

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘I know it’s tempting but can you please stop popping the damn stuff while you’re making it.’

Wrap

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘OK, but for identification purposes a trench coat and rolled-up copy of the Times would have been preferable.’

Id

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s fusion food — they mix cheap ingredients with sky-high prices.’

Fusion

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Makes you realise just how small and insignificant you are, doesn’t it?’

Insignificant

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘Ah, that new baby smell — I’ve got some Chanel No. 5 here that can sort that out.’

Smell

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘He’s a regular.’

Regular

24 May 2014 9:00 am

‘He soon tired of the porn. Now he watches property prices going through the roof.’

Prices

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Pool

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Gram

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Grave

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Gravestone

24 May 2014 9:00 am

Doing God

17 May 2014 9:00 am

‘We don’t do God,’ was Alastair Campbell’s put-down when his charge, Tony Blair, was tempted to raise the issue of…

Portrait of the week

17 May 2014 9:00 am

Home David Cameron, the Prime Minister, said on television that he was ‘bullish’ about negotiating change for Britain in the…

Barometer

17 May 2014 9:00 am

Memory holes The EU wants to introduce a law which would force Google to delete from its searches old information…

‘Venus and Bacchus’, 1532–40, by Giovanni Battista di Jacopo, known as Rosso Fiorentino

Books and arts

17 May 2014 9:00 am

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