Poor old Ron and Pen, just trying to help
Here’s the problem. An Asian bloke gets on to the Tube holding a bulging Lidl bag with wires sticking out…
An orchestrated race storm
A fascinating story has emerged from a north-western leftie quadrant of the United States: the sacking of British conductor Matthew…
The National: Sleep Well Beast
Grade: A– There are plenty of websites where fans try to discern, without any success, what in the name of…
Why English footballers are so useless
It is late in the evening. You’re in a bar. You’ve had quite a bit to drink but you are…
Thanks to Diana, the royals are done for
We are approaching an important royal anniversary, which I trust will be marked with a display of the appropriate reverence…
Arcade Fire: Everything Now
Grade: D+ Well, this is truly awful. Perhaps the worst album by a major band since Mardi Gras by Creedence…
Saltburn-by-the-Sea
When towns are on the up, there is a brief period when they inhabit what I would call the Goldilocks…
We’re losing the cat-and-mouse terror game
I wonder how Mohammad Khan is getting on in his legal action against Virgin Atlantic. Mo — a Muslim, the…
The hormone that makes you a liberal halfwit
People who feel unkindly disposed towards economic migrants are chemically imbalanced, according to a study from the University of Bonn.…
England Lost/Gotta Get A Grip
Two songs in which Sir Michael informs us that he is distressed by both Brexit and Donald Trump. Released with,…
Football wants the ‘somewheres’ to get lost
Some years ago, when Millwall played West Ham United, the Millwall fans sang the following song (to the tune of…
If Brexit is dying, what about democracy?
Never meet your enemies — you might like them, and that ruins stuff. I had dinner with the former Archbishop…
My fears about the new ‘extremism commission’
The Egyptian-born Muslim cleric Yusuf al-Qaradawi was once invited to speak in this country — and the row which developed…
Jay-Z: 4.44
Grade: B – All criticism is pointless, I suppose, given the sheer magnitude of the Shawn Corey Carter machine —…
A vicious reaction to a very bad word
Having a nigger in the woodpile and a skeleton in the closet are closely related problems, although subtly different. In…
Being anti-smoking damages your mental health
I lit a cigarette in an open-air car park a couple of years ago as I was walking to the…
Beth Ditto: Fake Sugar
Boy is she fat, and getting fatter. I realise this is something we’re not meant to mention when talking about…
The Corbyn coalition
One of the most disappointing things about the general election for me was how few people must have read Nick…
If you’re not tired of London, you’re tired of life
London, city of the damned. City of incendiary tower blocks, jihadi mentals trying to slit your throat, yokels from Somerset…
Peter Perrett: How The West Was Won
Much though I loved it at the time, not a great deal of lasting worth came out of that fervid…
Where are the Tory hordes shrieking ‘lefty scum’?
The Conservative party lost the general election, even if they are still in power (at time of writing). It was…
Is enough enough? Then let’s start deporting
I divide my time between two constituencies, the first a rock-solid Conservative seat in the south-east of England, the other…
Snoop Dogg: Neva Left
The problem Calvin Broadus has is persuading the rest of us that he still a baaaad muthafucka. Snoop is now…
Should those poor kids have been there?
My wife will not let our 11-year-old daughter take the dog for a walk around the large field adjoining our…
This is the worst Tory campaign ever
I am trying to remember if there was ever a worse Conservative election campaign than this current dog’s breakfast —…
