Mark Wood

‘Don’t talk to me about the price of oil.’

Mark Wood 21 March 2026 9:00 am

No, it’s your turn to bring us breakfast in bed

Mark Wood 14 March 2026 9:00 am

‘You could go home, order it online and pick it up tomorrow. It’s cheaper with click and collect.’

Mark Wood 7 March 2026 9:00 am

I’m going to try to go back to sleep

Mark Wood 7 March 2026 9:00 am

‘I thought you were keeping up with the plot. Now one of us will have to Google it.’

Mark Wood 28 February 2026 9:00 am

‘How long do you think Keir Starmer can keep hanging by a thread?’

Mark Wood 21 February 2026 9:00 am

Did you order cheese?

Mark Wood 21 February 2026 9:00 am

I have a book in me

Mark Wood 31 January 2026 9:00 am

Is it just me, or do you feel like Greenland?

Mark Wood 31 January 2026 9:00 am

‘CDs? You’re so old-fashioned, Dad.’

Mark Wood 10 January 2026 9:00 am

That’s it, play the victim again

Mark Wood 10 January 2026 9:00 am

Rate delivery

Mark Wood 3 January 2026 9:00 am

‘I’ve had to get rid of the naughty and nice lists, it was affecting mental health.’

Mark Wood 13 December 2025 9:00 am

‘Oh, I don’t go to every house any more.’

Mark Wood 13 December 2025 9:00 am

Bang goes our quiet Christmas

Mark Wood 13 December 2025 9:00 am

‘It’s very modern. There’s a different takeaway driver behind every door.’

Mark Wood 6 December 2025 9:00 am

I may have been asleep for 100 years, but my deep sleep was only 21 per cent

Mark Wood 29 November 2025 9:00 am

Wanting to be a real boy was one thing – now he talks of wanting to be a real man

Mark Wood 8 November 2025 9:00 am

‘Halloween was last week. It must be fillers.’

Mark Wood 8 November 2025 9:00 am

‘The former Duke of York was marched to the top of the hill and left there.’

Mark Wood 1 November 2025 9:00 am

I’ve had to learn how to throw it myself

Mark Wood 25 October 2025 9:00 am

Thank God, that’s the Christmas shopping finished

Mark Wood 11 October 2025 9:00 am

The uncontrolled numbers coming in does concern me

Mark Wood 4 October 2025 9:00 am

Halloween Christmas

Mark Wood 27 September 2025 9:00 am

‘I can’t download the app, can I still get ill?’

Mark Wood 27 September 2025 9:00 am

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