From Spike Milligan — and Marge Simpson — with love, light, peace and great respect
This book is a serious bit of kit. Its hard covers measure 28.9 by 21 centimetres, and it weighs 1.62…
Fancy that
When women lust after blokes on telly it’s funny, not seedy
The perfect pub
Whenever one of those news stories appears about how many pubs have been forced to close in the last year,…
Old boys’ network
I'm 43. Why do I still not refer to myself as a man?
Political memorabilia
My first reaction on hearing of Margaret Thatcher’s death in 2013 was: ‘Great — now my autograph from her will…
Poor form
Against the customer service Q&A
Father’s Day
No man ever watched a £20 note flutter from an opened Father’s Day card and thought: ‘How disappointing — not enough…
Funny things happen on the way to the Scillies
It’s a real skill, writing about a journey where nothing ever happens. We shouldn’t be surprised that Simon Armitage is…
Dead expensive
Funerals are a rip-off. But you can do something about that
Dirty dealing across the board
I knew there had to be a point to Monopoly. The game itself is tedium made cardboard, the strongest known…
Hell on wheels
The mobility scooter plague
Egypt
Egypt’s revolution of 2011 didn’t just get rid of President Mubarak: it did a pretty good job of clearing out…
Worshipping the body beautiful
My favourite fact about gyms before reading this book was that the average British gym member covers 468 miles per…
In your face
Who are these chaps who insist on standing so close?
Uni’s out
Why being a graduate is about to lose its prestige
Get over yourself
Is there any cure for this piece of corporate speak?
The Isle of Wight
Every day the Isle of Wight becomes England’s smallest county: when-ever the tide comes in, the island steals the crown…
A last time for everything
Life is full of little endings. We should pay them more attention
Forlorn Hope
Why does everything these days have to be a superlative? Why must writers scream for our attention, yelling that the…
The ultimate comfort food
During the D-day landings, members of the parachute regiment, finding themselves behind enemy lines at night, needed a way of…
Comforting sounds to cook to
When you think about it, Radio 4 is mostly a pile of old toss. Money Box qualifies as an anaesthetic,…
Cosmic sublime
Mark Mason on the images that make grown men cry
Off the telly
In the world of YouTube and Netflix, generations no longer share a culture
The Alps, with children
It’s a terrible moment, the realisation that you’ve spawned a monster. Parenthood, it becomes clear, has wiped stylish holidays off…
Shades of contempt
People who wear sunglasses all the time seem to radiate disdain
