My ex-lover’s T-shirt can join the other tragic tat in the Museum of Broken Relationships
I loved a man. But our affair was nasty, brutish and short. Copious weeping was my un-tart retort. All that’s…
Michael Gove is the leader the ‘leave’ campaign needs
Lately, people only have to look at me to splurge their deepest, darkest secret. Last May, they did a terrible…
Feminism is over, the battle is won. Time to move on
It would be easy to believe from the papers these days that women have never been more oppressed. From the…
My eco-home nightmare
I write this half-naked, sucking on ice cubes, breaking off sentences to stick my head in the fridge. In the…
The teachers who (quietly) miss Michael Gove
‘Michael Gove,’ the joke goes, ‘you either loathe him or hate him.’ According to one poll (by Ipsos Mori) the…
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Alice in Cineworld
‘Unless one of them comes up and
says hello to you in the street…’
‘If there’s global warming then how come there’s a cold war?’
‘Things have changed since I was a lad.’
‘I want you to know I’m seeing someone else.’
‘The enemy are virtue-signalling to us, sir.’
‘Well at least we always left a tip.’
‘How many shopping days are there till Brexit?’
‘I don’t care what the sales are so long as they’re healthy.’
‘I don’t think you can take the sound of
your own voice as one of the tracks.’
‘We are innocent Russian tourists on riding holiday, looking forward to a good hack…’