Dear Mary: what do you do if you spill red wine on a sofa?
No matter how much you loved Boris you would find it maddening if he spilled red wine on your sofa. …
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‘I’ve been made Impermanent Secretary.’
‘We’re here about the superforecaster job.’
‘I can’t get on the housing ladder.’
Narcissus feels outnumbered
‘He used to be just a manspreader.’
‘Oh no! What have I tweeted..?’
‘Yes, you could say we’re self-isolating.’
‘And let’s all try to be a little bit kinder.’
‘Poor Rishi Sunak — he has four houses to worry about.’