We live in an age of identity politics, and even in the identity-politics-rejecting right, it is still necessary to identify yourself. One recent political label is ‘Delcon’, which – for an epithet of such recent provenance – is surprisingly varied in its range of meanings. Get ready, I’m going in: first up, ‘Delcon’: delusional conservative (Miranda Devine, circa April 2016) – a disgruntled supporter of Tony Abbott, who is working against the political interests of the party. Secondly: ‘Delcon’: the same meaning as above, but adopted by Tim Blair, Andrew Bolt, and other conservatives as a self-congratulatory label (Blair, Bolt, circa April 2016). Thirdly: ‘Delcon’: ‘delighted conservative’: a new definition offered by Tim Blair in the wake of the 2016 election results. (Blair, circa July 2016). To this little list, I propose the addition of another word (if it hasn’t already been proposed): ‘Malcon’. I’ll let you lot sort the definition out for yourself.
But ‘Delcon’ is just one of an array of confusing and contradictory labels adopted by the right of recent years. Those calling themselves Delcons might well be the same people who, a few years ago, were calling themselves RWDBs, or Right Wing Death Beasts (Tim Blair had a hand in this one, too). Right Wing Death Beasts are, however, not the same as neo-liberals, who are definitely different to neo-conservatives, who are separate from paleo-conservatives. Though occasionally these strange characters may be found in the same party room, or party, or room, or bed, or body together. Try sorting that lot out amongst yourselves. Diagrams may help.
It’s all bad enough in a world where mostly liberals are liberals, conservatives are conservatives, and Republicans are the ones who own guns, to live in a country where the Liberals are conservatives and Labor are liberals. It’s partly for this reason that I just prefer the terms ‘right’ and ‘left’, though as someone said to me recently, these terms are useless as their meaning keeps on changing. I don’t see that as quite a disqualifying factor in this case, as the bicameral nature of many democratic polities makes for an obvious split that may be described in ‘right/left’ terms – and because any political party by its very nature is a coalition of related and changing interests: so any political label will change over time. Though I could, if I wanted to side wholeheartedly with the libertarians – not to be confused with libertines, although it should be noted at the recent Libertarian Party national convention in the US one of the contenders for the chairman position stripped for his potential electorate. Send in any puns you may wish to the usual address on the back of a stamped envelope. Better yet, keep the puns to yourself and just send us the stamped envelope.
And then there is the Alt Right, who, it was recently, and helpfully explained to me, describe their Social Justice Warrior (SJW) opponents as ‘the Ctrl Left’. The Alt Right bear some similarities with the neo-traditionalists (who are a bit like but not really the paleo-conservatives who are…. bloody hell!) And speaking of SJWs, what is it with all these damned acronyms? Soon we’ll have a whole alphabet of the things: ALP, DLP, LDP, RWDB, SJW, MRA, WTF… Okay, I just threw that last one in there. What is the point of all these labels? Inclusion, or exclusion? Does it benefit anybody more than those who are already committed members of their faction?
No, there’s really only one label that suits me, and I’ve had it ever since I was born: Grumpy Old Man.
Timothy Train is a grumpy old man temporarily embarrassed by middle age who blogs at Will Type for Food.
