So. Farewell then 2025. The Chinese Zodiac calendar called this ‘The Year of the Snake’ – and my goodness Westminster has had more than its fair share these past 12 months. Such is the level of one-way traffic from the Tories to Reform that even the Labour party press office struggles to keep count of the number of defective, sorry, defector, onetime Tory MPs now changing sides.

Abroad, hurricane Trump has blown through the world, hurling tariffs aplenty, sending Europe into a spin, refashioning the Middle East and upending elections in Canada and Australia too. At home, we have endured the continued flounderings of our less-than-inspiring PM, whose plummeting approval ratings were the one constant for Labour in 2025. Surely, it can’t get any worse next year? To quote the great sage of Sunderland, Mick McCarthy, ‘It can!’

So as the year ends, Mr S has rounded up a selection of his favourite personalities in British politics this year, a not-so-magnificent-seven who have found themselves all too often in his crosshairs. Drumroll please; obsequious shows of admiration at the ready – step forth the winners of this year’s 2026 Steerpike awards…

Woman of the Year: It is a little known fact but – shock! – prior to 2024, Britain had never had a female Chancellor. Now, one woman has bravely shown that a woman can occupy that august office and display the same level as incompetence, mismanagement and mediocrity as any of the underwhelming male predecessors who came before her. Step forward, Rachel Reeves.

The Sir Humphrey Award for services to the Deep State: He is to politics what Wolverhampton Wanderers are to Premier League football. The Home Office get very few wins in court these days: so thank God for Jolyon Maugham, whose constant defeats in court make our ever-incompetent officials look half-decent. Here is to the Babe Ruth of the Bar: the fox-killing, kimono-wearing toast of barristers everywhere.

The Ross Kemp gang gong – He is the man well-used to mixing with a rough collection of grifters, greasers, bovver boy and ne’er do wells (otherwise known as the Tory party). So it is no surprised that Robert Jenrick – Kemi Badenoch’s answer to Batman – is the TV star who takes home this prestigious prize. In the never-ending search for viral content, he was told in 2025 to ‘f*** off* successively by fare dodgers, Calais migrants and tool sellers. Who will be next to tell him that come 2026?

Comedian of the Year – Make ’em laugh, make ’em cry, make ’em angry. The timeless words of Fleet Street seem to be very much the guiding principle of this flailing Labour government. But in the past twelve months, there was no man who made us laugh more than David Lammy. Whether it was rowing with a French taxi driver or getting his Dickensian analogies wrong, the Talleyrand of Tottenham is proof that anyone – literally anyone – can become Lord Chancellor of Great Britain. Sponsored by Uber.

Negotiator of the Year – In an historic first, David Lammy takes home this gong too. The world of comedy was in mourning after his exile from the Foreign Office back in September. But, don’t worry, Our Man in Whitehall, left his mark on King Charles Street, by handing his successor the ‘deal of the century’ – for the Mauritians, that is. Yes, Lammy was the man responsible for signing the Chagos deal: a feat which earns him this prize (and the plaudits of Beijing too no doubt). Sponsored by Mr X Jingping.

Newcomer of the Year – In a new parliament, there are many MPs who would like to think of themselves as worthy of this award. But Mr S has never been a snob when it comes to recognising talent. And no man has done more to prove themselves the equal of our self-identifying elites as Alaa Abd El Fattah. Within hours of Keir Starmer declaring he was ‘delighted’ to welcome him here, tweets had emerged in which he had called for Zionists to be killed. Truly, the best of us.

Comrade of the Year – In some categories, there is no contest. Think Gorbachev or Mandela for the Nobel Peace Prize; Messi or Ronaldo for Footballer of the Year. After months of mismanagement, Mr S had to give this gong to the grift that keeps on giving. Step forward Your Party and, in particular, Zarah Sultana, Coventry’s answer to Citizen Smith. Like Napoleon’s lucky generals, Keir Starmer is (sometimes) blessed in his opponents.

Steerpike thanks his readers for all their tips, suggestions and musings this past year and here’s to more merriment in 2026!