Assimilation is a dirty word in modern Australia. Polluted by politics, toxic empathy, and a decreasing ability to understand words for what they actually mean.

Assimilation comes from the Latin verb assimilāre, meaning ‘to make similar to’ or ‘to liken’. At its heart, assimilation is simply the process of becoming similar by absorbing or integrating into something else.

Today, people say that asking for assimilation is racist. Some say this because of forced assimilation in the world’s recent history. Others argue that it implies the ‘host’ culture we are assimilating to is being labelled as ‘superior’.

But here’s the thing. Isn’t the purpose of immigrating, at least in part, to seek a better culture?

Families move countries for better systems, better living conditions, better opportunities, and ultimately for a better way of life. In other words, for a better culture. Yet when we talk about culture, we often reduce it to surface-level things. The music you listen to. The food you eat. The festivals you celebrate. That’s what many people think culture is, but it isn’t.

Culture is better understood as the shared values, beliefs, norms, and practices that shape how a group thinks, behaves, communicates, and makes meaning. A healthy culture functions like an operating system. You don’t notice it while it’s running, but you absolutely notice when someone is operating on a different one that clashes with yours.

This brings me back to assimilation.

Western culture is built on more than 2,000 years of Greek reasoning, Roman institutional thinking, and Judeo-Christian morality. It is one of the most sought-after cultures in the world because it protects free speech, rewards rational thought, upholds justice, and affirms the value of every human life. Even though these foundations are being eroded year by year, they remain the reason millions want to live in Western nations.

That is why, when we welcome new migrants to this great country, we do both them and ourselves a disservice by refusing to make assimilation the standard. We tiptoe around setting expectations, and the result is predictable. We create pockets of people living in the same cultural worlds they left behind.

If you move here from the Middle East, there is a pocket of Sydney where you can feel like you never left. If you move here from India, there are suburbs where daily life feels almost unchanged. And don’t get me wrong, familiarity is comforting. When we first moved to Australia, seeing a local Indian store with SunTV playing on the screens made us feel warm and fuzzy in a new and unfamiliar place.

But true exposure to a culture, and a genuine appreciation of its beauty, comes from living side by side with people who have already assimilated to it.

What has caused this situation is not difficult to identify. Over the last two to three years, Australia has experienced untenable levels of immigration. This has not only strained infrastructure, housing, and services, but has also quietly eroded the shared culture in important pockets of the country.

It is important not to place the blame on the people coming here. Many are skilled, hardworking, and add enormous value to our economy and society. How can we blame someone for wanting to come to one of the greatest countries in the world to build a better future for themselves and their families?

The responsibility lies with governments. Governments that have failed to look at the bigger picture. Governments that have tiptoed around what makes Australia a key flag bearer of Western society. Governments that prioritise short-term political comfort over the long-term future of the nation.

About five years ago, I saw a much smaller but telling example of what happens when assimilation does not occur at our local cricket club.

We had two teams from the same club competing in the same grade. One was our team. A group of mates who had grown up in the club as juniors and seniors. We understood the club’s culture, how things were done, what was valued, and what it meant to represent the club beyond simply winning games.

The other team joined as a ready-made group. They were very good cricketers, probably better than us, but they had not come through the club or spent time absorbing its culture. From early on, it was clear they played for the club, but were not really part of it.

That difference became most obvious on presentation night. They had knocked us out of the finals fairly and squarely. But they arrived late, collected their awards, and left almost immediately. There was little acknowledgment of the night, the people, or even the premiership jackets they were given.

At first, I was frustrated. But on reflection, what could I reasonably expect? How would they know what the club stood for, its traditions, expectations, and sense of belonging, if there was no pathway, no mentoring, and no long-standing players helping pass that culture on?

It wasn’t a failure of intent. It was a failure of assimilation.

What can we do as a nation? Do we just sit on our hands and keep blaming politicians?

I think there is a lot we can do.

Firstly, we need to regain confidence in what Western society is built upon. Judeo-Christian moral foundations, rational thought, logical reasoning, and the sanctity of human life. We must resist stooping to the ideological lows seen in other nations and remember that, despite the loud and destructive few, there remains a large amount of good worth standing shoulder to shoulder with.

Secondly, we need to love our neighbour, very literally. Many of us live on streets filled with people from different backgrounds, nationalities, and walks of life. Christmas is a perfect time to start conversations, invite neighbours over for a BBQ, or rediscover the older Australian habit of actually knowing the people next door.

Assimilation doesn’t start and end with government, but government does matter.

There is a role for clear standards, for honest expectations, and for leaders who are willing to say what Australia is, what it stands for, and what joining this country actually means. Without that clarity, we shouldn’t be surprised when assimilation doesn’t happen.

But policy alone will never carry a culture.

The rest of it is on us. It’s on how we live. It’s on whether we actually know our neighbours, whether we invite people into our homes, whether our kids grow up playing together, and whether we’re willing to live out the values we claim matter.

There is a place for the passing on of culture by the politicians (what they say, do etc). But it’s also passed on through us in everyday life.

If government sets the standard and people live it out, one household, one street, one suburb at a time, then assimilation stops being a dirty word and becomes what it was always meant to be: the way a country holds, builds, and moves forward together.