Driving up Noosa North Shore a few weeks ago we joined three other vehicles bogged in the soft sand. All around were beach goers scooping out sand from beneath the wheels of their SUVs as the tide ominously crept in. Our attention could not help but be taken by two young women, wearing buttock-baring thong bikinis, who were delaying the moment when they had to go down on all fours to scoop. As would anyone with a normal sense of propriety. At the side were some campers sitting in front of their tent, sipping their drinks and enjoying watching the panicked antics of city drivers caught in one of the best-known car traps in Australia. The nearby township of Rainbow Beach has a Wall of Shame, of photos of bogged and submerged cars, and doubtless a thriving rescue business.

Later at our Teewah lunch, the talk, among the well-aged group, turned to the thong bikinis. Dead uncomfortable, the older women agreed, as well as ugly. And ewwww, what about unhygienic, one woman said, those bare backsides on the car seats? The boardrider males spoke of being out paddling for a surf, and watching the buttocks rhythmically go up and down as the female surfers paddled to catch a wave. Distracting, to say the least. Few young women can even wear this look well, and the disgust and revulsion among the older women was universal, but possibly more nuanced among the blokes.

‘It’s the ‘in’ thing,’ said one of the older men. ‘You’re not going to stop the 20-year-olds from doing it, they’re aiming at the 20-year-old men, not us.’

My twenty-something daughter, herself a thong-wearer, said no one cared what older people thought, and what’s more, our generation didn’t go to the gym, whereas her generation did, and has better bodies to display. Which may be true, but after the recent Noosa Triathlon, the athletes at morning coffee were notable for their casual shorts and relaxed tee shirts, in contrast to the usual Noosa fashion of female southerners wearing camel-toe revealing athleisure, crop tops and leggings, all seemingly spray-painted on. My daughter did agree, though, that polyester clinging to every nook, cranny and roll of older women’s bodies was not a good look.

All of which raises the question of dignity in clothing. At the Paris Louvre heist in October, a photo went viral showing an impossibly dapper fellow in a three-piece suit and coat with a fedora angled at a rakish pitch, a jaunty umbrella as counterpoint. Who was this fabulously stylish detective, the online crowd bayed? A few days and five million Tiktok views later he was revealed as 15-year-old Pedro Delvaux who raids his family’s closets to dress up in 1940s outfits, one of his style heroes being Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot. Social media has numerous smartly tailored men spreading the word: there’s the black American man who teaches black kids how to wear suits and present themselves; there’s Modern.Gentlemen and Die, Workwear! talking about trouser-leg length and all matters colour, cut, fabric and tailoring;  and then there’s Zack Pinsent, of Pinsent Tailoring, a 25-year-old historical costumier whose niche is making, wearing and selling historically accurate Regency and Georgian garb, all satins and silks, top hats and tails, breeches and cravats. Now a media identity, he helps out with costumes for period TV dramas. Two of my kids came back recently from Dubai and Japan respectively, and reported a generally higher standard of more elegant clothing, none of your athleisure there. And on X the other day I saw two middle-aged black women waving placards saying Make Modesty Great Again.

This is not to say that a shift in attitude is happening, especially in Australia, which is given to Crocs, tracky daks and thongs of all kinds. We have a beach culture like Brazil’s, where body display is the norm, and our travellers abroad are second to none in dressing for sloppy comfort. So I expect Main Beach at Noosa will be covered with eye-hurting bare bums for years to come.

But if you want to impress these days, don’t undress, like everyone does, or wear sweats and polyester, like everyone does. Be like Pedro or Zack, and dress up, not down.