Flat White

Melbourne, mayhem, and machetes

25 August 2025

4:50 PM

25 August 2025

4:50 PM

When Danny Trejo starred in the 2010 violent action film Machete, many went to see it for a few hours of diversion and escapism. When he reappeared in the 2013 follow-up film, Machete Kills, it was more of the same, with audiences seeking to get their minds off their real-world problems.

For many of us today, such scenarios have nothing to do with fiction and escapism. They have to do with reality and the current state of play in places like Melbourne. Wild tales of machete bloodshed are no longer the stuff of Hollywood, but recurring happenings.

Once known as the ‘world’s most livable city’, Melbourne clearly no longer is. It has become an unbearable hellhole with a ruined economy, a tsunami of radical Woke agenda items destroying the place, and out-of-control crime. It is that latter item that has so many people concerned, with daily reports of youths breaking into homes and terrorising families.

And increasingly they are lashing out in broad daylight, not only breaking into homes, but fighting each other in crowded malls. It is utter mayhem in Melbourne and things keep getting worse. Thankfully, plenty of folks are getting really fed up with this. Consider some media headlines and politicians:

Andrew Rule: I’ve covered crime for 45 years; for the first time, I’m worried about my city…

Legendary crime writer Andrew Rule has issued a plea amid Victoria’s crime crisis, saying brazen criminals have no fear of the police and courts and government don’t seem worried about stopping them

Youth gangs rank crimes like footy stats on social media

A disturbing social media trend is emerging where gang-affiliated teens boast of fatal attacks using emojis and ‘point systems’ – prompting calls for urgent intervention and tougher enforcement.

Steve Price: Nine years after Apex terror, Victorians more fed-up and frightened than ever

Almost a decade after the Apex gang caused chaos at Moomba, is Melbourne safer from teenage criminals committing violent home invasions and armed hold-ups? The answer is a resounding no, and there has been a complete failure from the top down.

Bridget Vallence MP 

Crime is at a record high in Victoria. A criminal offence is committed every 50 seconds, a car is stolen every 17 minutes, and youth are involved in more violent attacks. Aggravated burglary is up 177 per cent in the Yarra Ranges! The Allan Labor government’s laws are not deterring crime, and come as they cut the Victoria Police budget by $50 million making the job of our local police harder. Community safety must come first. The Victorian Liberals will continue to push for stronger laws, and more resources for local police – as I have called for here in Parliament.

Georgie Crozier MP 

Two teens granted bail just one day after a violent machete crime spree across Melbourne. They allegedly robbed five IGAs in two hours, masked, armed, and using a stolen car. One was already facing charges for a brutal carjacking. Police opposed bail, warning of reoffending. The magistrate called the crimes ‘incredibly serious’ but let them go. Labor’s justice system is failing Victorians.


Richard Riordan MP 

[The machete ban] issue had everyone talking this week. At only $13 million dollars it is a relatively small waste of money by this Labor government’s usual efforts – that have seen budget waste rack up hundreds of millions and into billions of dollars. But it highlighted the continued way Jacinta Allan throws good money after bad. The Suburban Rail Loop, our road repairs, the Commonwealth Games, to name just a few examples. It is time to change and Victorians want a future.

Jason Wood MP 

Yet another day in the lawless state. A group of teenagers have stormed a Truganina house party armed with machetes, allegedly stabbing some of the people inside around 5am. Three men were allegedly attacked by the group, whom witnesses say they did not know. My thoughts go out to the victims.

Moira Deeming MP

Having now met a victim of a machete attack, and seen his mother’s pain – this just leaves me sad. Elections have consequences. Please vote Labor out.

Family First

Family First’s Victorian Upper House candidates Bernie Finn and Jane Foreman have called for urgent reforms to ensure young offenders who commit violent crimes face real consequences, after Melbourne was rocked by yet another horrific home invasion.

In Kew East last weekend, a father was stabbed 11 times with a machete in his own home as his wife and two toddlers were forced into another room. Just hours later, another family was terrorised nearby as offenders stole cars from their driveway while they slept. Police have charged two boys aged 16 and 17 alongside a 24-year-old man.

‘These are not childish pranks,’ Mr Finn said. ‘When a 16-year-old picks up a machete and stabs a father in front of his family, that is an adult crime. And adult crimes demand adult time. Yet our system mollycoddles young thugs while innocent families live in fear.’

Ms Foreman said the Allan government’s much-touted ‘machete bins’ program – costing taxpayers more than $13 million – was a cruel joke.

‘Labor cut $50 million from the police budget but thinks spending $325,000 on each of 40 so-called ‘machete amnesty bins’ is going to make families safer. It’s an insult. No violent criminal is going to dutifully drop his machete in a bin before heading out to terrorise families,’ Ms Foreman said.

Family First says the root problem is not the absence of enough bins but the absence of adequate punishment and deterrence.

‘Parents across Victoria are sick and tired of excuses. We are seeing a wave of violent home invasions, carjackings, and stabbings carried out by juveniles who know the courts will give them a slap on the wrist,’ Mr Finn said.

Ms Foreman added: ‘Every Victorian has the right to be safe in their home. Families should not be left defenceless while the government indulges in tokenistic, headline-grabbing measures. It’s time to put victims first, not criminals.’

Family First is calling for juvenile justice laws to be overhauled so that repeat violent offenders under 18 face adult penalties.

‘As long as violent thugs believe they are untouchable because of their age, the bloodshed will continue,’ Mr Finn said. ‘Family First will fight to restore common sense: adult time for adult crime.’

David Limbrick MP

[Our] petition is approaching 7,000 signatures. If we reach 10,000, the government will be forced into smothered debate.

It says in part:

The petition of certain citizens of the State of Victoria draws to the attention of the Legislative Council the urgent need for clearer self-defence laws to better protect individuals and families in their own homes. Concerned community members believe that current self-defence provisions don’t sufficiently allow people to protect themselves, their loved ones, and property from unlawful intruders. Under current Victorian law, self-defence is only available as a defence if it is in response to a perceived threat, a person must have a ‘reasonable’ belief that they are facing a threat to their life or serious bodily harm. This is ambiguous and leaves law-abiding occupants vulnerable to criminal prosecution and/or civil proceedings, even when defending themselves against home invasions.

Bad government, bad outcomes

The truth is, when these thugs engage in deplorable acts, they are arrested, and they are out on bail the very next day. And they do it all over again. But the clowns in charge tell us we cannot treat these teens harshly: they might become career criminals. Um, guess what? When they are committing horrific crimes over and over and over again, they already are career criminals. Jail them or deport them (many are migrant gang members).

Just recently, there were a number of grocery stores in Melbourne allegedly attacked by teen thugs. A few months ago, I went to a nearby store. Male workers were standing at the front door, and I was told I needed to hurry, as they were closing early. They said that these gangs had been attacking their store. But this pathetic Allan government does nothing – it sides with the gangs and sides against the victims.

One person said this when I mentioned in a social media post: ‘Time for the supermarkets to bite the bullet and put on heavy-duty security guys and not lolly pop retirees in yellow vests and pay for it from their ever-increasing profits.’ I replied as follows:

But…

  • I take it that the community-based grocery chain is not rolling in massive profits like the Big Two.
  • Hiring security guards for the 1,400 stores would cost hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of dollars.
  • That would be a massive financial burden.
  • That cost of course would be passed on to us consumers.
  • Instead of demanding things that would drive up prices and perhaps send them broke, we should be demanding our useless governments get tough on crime and stop coddling crims while siding against victims.

And even if the other Big Two chains hire heaps of security guards and the like, that will cost millions, and those costs will be passed on to us consumers. Instead, we should insist that the problem of teen crime gangs is not acceptable and is not to be the new normal. We must demand that our spineless politicians either get tough on crime, on sentencing, on punishment, on bail laws, etc., or that they take a hike!

We can use a Donald Trump right about now. He is cleaning up crime-infested cities like Washington, DC, and is about to move on Chicago. Melbourne should be next.

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