Q. I invited a rather wonderful, single (and fairly shy) man to supper. I had hoped to pair him with a single friend of mine and during the evening they got on extremely well. The problem is that, although I have received a thank-you postcard, he made no mention of my friend. We are both keen for feedback – what should we do?

– Name and address withheld

A. Shy men need confirmation that an overture would not be repulsed before they dare to make a move. Telephone him to say you have found a coat in your house and wonder if he left it behind. Use this call to communicate the favourable impression he made on your friend and to probe for his reaction.

Q. A family member has decided that their ‘thing’ is to give our children over-the-top presents we do not have space for in our house. What’s more, we get the impression it is being done because of a sense that we cannot afford to buy such extravagant things ourselves. How can we encourage this to stop?

– L.C., by email

A. Signal the impracticality of enormous presents by inviting this family member to lunch. Style the ‘reception’ room in such a way that the toy mountain almost prevents them being able to sit down. Otherwise, photograph your children playing with the latest additions against a backdrop of oversized toy clutter. They will see for themselves that, in future, small will be considered beautiful.

Q. We have a community café that is run entirely by volunteers with all profits going to local charities. Meanwhile the church recently launched its own coffee morning every other Saturday. This morning a church activist came into our café to drum up custom for the church alternative. This made our customers feel guilty and left me speechless. What should we do? We are open three days per week and it is a constant struggle to get volunteers, obey all the food regulations and keep prices as low as possible without competing with God as well!

– I.P., address withheld

A. It seems that sanctimonious arrogance is at play here. Next time, act daft and greet them rather breathlessly: ‘I’m so glad you’re here. Is washing up OK?’ Then usher them to the sink and hand them a washing-up brush. You may forgive them; for they know not what they do.

Q. A tip for readers in danger of being flooded: fill black rubbish bags two-thirds full with earth and put these in the loos to prevent backed-up sewage overflowing into the house. This is what causes the worst damage, so important to put a cork in it.

– C.C., by email

A. Thank you for this tip.