Forget ‘thank you, linesmen; thank you, ball boys’ or should that be linespersons and ball persons? I offer my deep appreciation to Dame Alison (Rose) and Peter (Flavel), the respective former heads of UK banks, NatWest and Coutts.

Without your valiant efforts to de-bank Nigel Farage, we wouldn’t be where we are now – which is hopefully at the beginning of an emerging sweet spot. It’s given new meaning to own goal, which we are all fully onboard with given the Women’s World Cup currently being played down under.

In my view, Ali – can I call her that? – should have walked the plank much sooner than she did and not because of any law. When is it OK for a banker to reveal the personal details of a customer to anyone, let alone a journalist? Call me old-fashioned, but that was always a sackable offence. As for the pathetic chairman, ex-Bank of England, he must surely go very soon. He wanted Ali to stay on after an imperceptible slap on the wrist.

I’m not sure I really blame the BBC journalist here. After all, he did ring through to Ali’s office the next day to confirm the story that the account had been cancelled for commercial reasons which was wrong, but what the heck. Farage’s account had been terminated after a 40-page dossier was assembled on him – just think of the resources consumed in that little exercise, including by wet-behind-the-ears graduates?

The conclusion was that Nigel’s views and values – racist, xenophobic, pro-Brexit, yada yada – didn’t align with those of an inclusive bank with purpose and so his account needed to be cancelled. I guess that’s because it’s such an inclusive thing to do, to cancel a customer.

Whoever thought that managing the reputational risk of the bank could involve de-banking a high-profile person like Farage, with almost unlimited scope to use the media, clearly had rocks in their head – and that’s being kind. Is the real conclusion that an adherence to wokedom is the equivalent of a non-surgical lobotomy?

The fall-out has been a joy to behold, well beyond Ali and Peter getting the chop (with generous termination packages, of course – they’re bankers). It turns out that de-banking is widespread and it is actually partly the fault of government policy and the crazy anti-money laundering regulations.

Of course, these regulations don’t really affect murderous Russian oligarchs or violent Albanian gang members. But given the proven law of unintended consequences, there have been some truly bizarre results.

Under the Know Your Customer Act – I’m not making that title up – a bank and certain other types of companies must identify politically exposed persons (PEPs) to guard against money laundering. Initially, it was only going to apply to non-UK PEPs, but that restriction was soon lifted. Being a PEP or related to a PEP is sufficient reason for a person to have their bank accounts cancelled, with no scope for appeal.

The current UK Energy Minister, Grant Shapps, has had a bank account cancelled and the same fate has befallen a number of his relatives. And this is someone who has net zero in his ministerial title!

But the story I love most is about Domenica Lawson, granddaughter of Nigel Lawson, former UK chancellor and then member of the House of Lords. In 2016, her mother applied to open a bank account with Barclays for her 16-year-old daughter who happens to have Down Syndrome. The request was denied and the reason given was her grandfather; he was deemed a PEP.

By this stage, Lawson was in his late eighties and it’s hard to conceive of any opportunity for Domenica to be involved in laundering money for her own or other person’s benefit. But the bank wasn’t backing down. The rules were the rules and Domenica was unable to open an account at Barclays.

It has also emerged that many businesses that deal mainly in cash have had their bank accounts cancelled. This is notwithstanding the fact that cash is still very commonly used for many small household transactions.

A number of Traveller groups has established window-cleaning businesses in an attempt to wean themselves off welfare, which is surely a welcome development. But various banks have decided to cancel their accounts because the transactions are excessively cash-based. Let’s face it, you can’t run a legitimate business without a bank account.

Understandably, Nigel Farage has a spring in his step as he encourages the de-banked to let him know their stories and to build up a picture of wilful, woke and insane behaviour by UK’s financial institutions.

The whole imbroglio has also lifted the spirits of the Sunak government, with various ministers expressing their displeasure at the treatment of Farage. The government has now committed to introduce legislation to prevent banks from cancelling accounts on the basis of the lawfully held views of account holders.

(Does this safeguard exist in Australia, you ask? It would appear not, with banks having wide authority to cancel the accounts of any customer they dislike or disagree with. At this stage, we haven’t seen any stupid behaviour on a par with that of Ali and Pete. But, let’s face it, you cannot survive without a bank account. It’s not the equivalent of being denied a decorated cake by a store owner who doesn’t like your sort. Just go to another bakery.)

As the Sunak government also takes the sensible and electorally palatable decision to walk back from net zero, a new broad pitch is emerging to no-nonsense, hard-pressed voters – we’re on your side, we think all that woke stuff is rubbish and we will wind back stupid policies as soon as possible. Chief among them is stopping the extension of the Ultra Low Emission Zone to outer London and the Zero Emissions Vehicle mandate.

Under the current terms of the Zev, 22 per cent of all cars sold in 2024 – yep, next year – must be fully electric (hybrids don’t count). The penalty for every normal car over the limit is 15,000 pounds – that’s right, 15 large ones – paid by the customer.

It has dawned on the Business Secretary, Kemi Badenoch, that this mandate will be impossible to meet, leading to angry and frustrated consumers as well as potential job losses in the industry. It’s odds-on to a dollar that the mandate will be significantly watered down.

So thank you Ali, thank you Pete: your stupid behaviour may have just been the jolt that the political leaders needed to focus on what voters are really seeking – genuine fact-based policies that deal with the issues at hand rather than the woke fantasies of a handful of inner-city luvvies, civil servants and rich bods dealing with their post-material anxieties.