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Columns

Why should Vikings be diverse?

5 August 2023

9:00 AM

5 August 2023

9:00 AM

I don’t always watch ‘Strongest Viking’ competitions on cable. But the other day I was channel-hopping and became mesmerised by one. Firstly because I wasn’t previously aware that such banality was possible on television. People really watch men trying to push a stone or pull a rope? This was new data to me. But I also stayed because I was struck by the sheer lack of diversity.

When the league tables flashed up, it transpired that the board was led by someone called Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, otherwise known as ‘the Mountain’ in Game of Thrones. Mr Björnsson is from Iceland, so there was a nice Icelandic flag beside his name. Then I noticed the rest of the league table. Without exception the top Vikings were all from Scandinavian countries. There were several people with unpronounceable names who had the Danish flag beside their names. Others had the flag of Sweden. My first reaction was surprise. My second was: ‘I’d give this competition about a year. Wait till the internet discovers it.’

I refer of course to the appalling cultural homogeneity of the Strongest Viking competition. For it is a truth of our age that everything must be diverse. And this was strikingly not.

There is a caveat I must add here. For naturally the rule does not operate if white people are not predominant. So far nobody with any wish for career longevity has tried to assail the National Basketball Association of North America for the distinct predominance of black chaps in their ranks. I have heard no calls for diversity to be introduced into basketball in general. And nobody seems to think that the NBA is for the chop unless they can increase their quota of white folks by next season.

But then it never does work that way round. Because that would be racist. Whereas attacking anything where there are ‘too many’ white people is, by the dictionary of our time, ‘anti-racist’.


Take the example of Straker’s in Notting Hill. Last week the owner of this pleasant-sounding restaurant, which opened last year, posted a photograph on social media with the caption ‘chef team assembled’. Thomas Straker had a fine line-up of restaurant help – (unfortunately for him) all male and all white. Social media soon turned his photograph into the usual dumpster fire.

‘Why aren’t there any female chefs?’ was one popular complaint, closely followed by accusations that the restaurant in question was a ‘white boys’ club’ – for the worst thing was the sheer whiteness on display. A female ‘drinks expert’ from ITV opined: ‘Too often we say, “It’s been proven time and again that diverse teams are more creative, productive and successful.” If every member looks the same and has the same background, you’ll find they’ll all think the same as well. Forming diverse teams is not only the right thing to do, it makes business sense too.’

I’m not sure what the drinks expert in question imagines goes on in a kitchen. Without diminishing the work of chefs, it is a kitchen we’re talking about here, not Bletchley Park. I like a piece of halibut as much as the next person, but I’m not sure how much inventiveness needs to go into the making of it. Would my piece of fish taste better if a ‘non-binary person’ had contributed to the making of it? I can’t see how. What would they do? Complain at the fish while it was cooking? And what ‘different thinking’ would occur if there had been a black chef in the mix? Isn’t that a bit racist? Or at least presumptuous? Almost as presumptuous as looking at a photo of white men and assuming they are all of the same class, background and life experience?

Still, that is how this era does think. So poor Thomas Straker, who just wants to run a restaurant in a period which has not been kind to his trade, is now having to fend off the dementors as though he was trying to start the Fourth Reich. Since he wants to keep his business, he has of course been forced into a grovelling apology, swearing that he is ‘absolutely committed to ensuring diversity’ and confessing that although he isn’t currently ‘achieving this’ he seeks to ‘improve’.

I wish his case was unusual. But it isn’t.

Last month, a minor Hollywood celeb put a picture online of their lunch table. Everybody at the table looked jolly happy. But that was because they couldn’t see the hurricane about to bear down on them. Because no sooner was the picture published than the internet discovered it and ‘anti-racists’ across several continents started berating the participants. The whiteness of the table was universally condemned. Experts gave advice on what to do if you are white and ever find yourself at such a gathering. The general conclusion was that you should either walk out or kidnap a passing non-white person and force them to eat with a bunch of strangers for picture credits.

Once again, I note that this only happens that way around. I have seen many photos from Africa, America, Britain and elsewhere of black people having a nice time. I have even seen photos of all-black workforces. But at no point have I seen people berating these folks for not having any white representation. It would seem a little arrogant to tell such a group to break it up, learn about people with different experiences and stop being so damn racist.

But then we also live in an era where a South African political party can hold a vast rally in a stadium, call for people to shoot white folks, and this is all in the normal run of things.

Perhaps this racism of the ‘anti-racists’ will go on a while longer. Perhaps it will go on in perpetuity. Some of us are of an age where we don’t care, but imagine being a young white person being brought up in this foetid atmosphere. And just imagine the resentment that will be brewing in anyone with any self-respect.

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